My boyfriend has a close female friend.

Would you have the same reaction if it was a male neighbour?

Is he also a good friend to his male friends?

I think he sounds like a straight out nice guy.

If he wanted to be with her instead of you, why would he bother to go out with you?

___

Finally, if you can't handle him having good female friends, he may not be the guy for you to date, let alone consider as a boyfriend.

Probably not as much. Don't know how I would feel about the Xmas eve dinner though.

I would imagine that he has known her a long time.

In his 30's not married, but gained a female "friend" to go out with, hang out with, do things with instead of being on his own, all the time, which is hard at any age. This is normal until someone special comes along, less time is then spent BUT, you don't ditch good friendships, they remain.

I would also imagine that his family naturally know her quite well, so why wouldn't she be included.

3 Months and you should both be giddy still. But it doesn't mean you are included in family events, 12 weeks you don't know each other that well yet, just getting to know each other. You meet family when it appears things are going places.

You are a "girlfriend" and new at that.

She is a "friend" who has been around a long time.

Quit with the jealousy as it will certainly cause a break up, as you will make him choose.

Chill as well, 12 weeks remember not 12 months.

Lastly, he needs to learn to clean himself neither of you are his Mother

It is a good thing for a man to have close female friends who they are not dating. You should be happy about this... it means he respects women.

I understand why you are sad about Christmas Eve dinner. After dating three months, you have a real relationship and should be spending significant time together, on the other hand meeting his family is a pretty big thing to some people and three months might feel a little soon.

My advice is that you talk about how you are feeling about missing Christmas Eve. Focus on how you feel.. not about what he did. That way you can help him understand you better without him feeling attacked.

The real issue is that you want to be a greater part of his life and to spend more time with him, and that you felt sad that Christmas eve couldn't be a part of this. Tell him this... and then talk about ways to make your relationship better. I would leave his friend out of it.. it is irrelevant.

I think they have known each other about a year. Not sure about her knowing his family. We have spoken and he said it was easy inviting her, but also that he doesn't like my 9 year old daughter and wouldn't enjoy her being around. I have a 13 year old son also and he has a 9 year old son. He says my daughter is manipulative and attention seeking.

He did invite us to Christmas Day so I know he wanted us to meet his family.
Thank you for your response it was very helpful.

If my girlfriend criticized my daughter... that would be a deal-breaker for me. He needs to either get over that, or the relationship simply isn't going to work. It is not his place to comment on your kids, or your parenting skills. If he can't accept that rather major part of your life, I can't imagine continuing.

Oh dear!

How does that make you feel? Where can this relationship go, if he has this feeling towards your own daughter? What will he include her in, ever?

Perhaps she is desperate for a Father figure, perhaps she's frightened to lose her Mother's time and needs her. Perhaps he should be understanding of either of these scenarios as a consideration and get to know her more.

You've got a lot to sort through here.

I'm not sure you're in a place to consider this guy as a boyfriend. You're not comfortable with him having a close female friend, he doesn't like your daughter.

Take a step back to a more casual dating relationship and see where things go.

I do have to say that when I dated men with children, I did not meet them til we'd been dating at least six months. I've never been comfortable fostering attachments with kids too soon.

It took me back. I know she feels both those things and told him them. But I said I don't want to feel like I have to defend her to him and that he won't want us around because of her. Our conversation wasn't great especially on Christmas morning. I pretty much said I can't see it working he was sad I was but trying to make the right decision, I will be devastated later I'm sure.

I absolutely agree. I didn't know he felt like this until just now. She had a drama in front of him once and he said he didn't like that behaviour but I didn't know he felt this strongly.

I agree maybe it's not the right relationship. I don't mind him having female friends he has a few and this lady is nice but inviting her instead of me didn't make me feel good at all. I have struggled with jealousy in the past and at first I was weary but they have both been very honest and she said to me that she doesn't want to get in the way and will back off it I feel uncomfortable. I guess I now know why it's easier to invite her though.

Normally they wouldn't meet my partner so quickly.