Please, I need serious advice!!

He's definitely not truthful to you. Even if you marry to gain a green card it is only valid for 2 years and has to be renewed after 2 years and this will be done only if the potential immigrant is still married. Then another 2 years will be granted. Check out the immigration laws for yourself and then you can decide if your boyfriend is worth waiting for.

To add to this, marriages for green cards don't happen nearly as often or as cavalierly as Hollywood tells us.

Thank you for that info. I will do my research!

I have had a friend from India who had done that a little before we met, back in the early part of the seventies. Oy! Immigration did check from time to time, tense all around.

We lived in the same building, and (not sure) they asked one or some other tenants, and anyway missed me.
I liked her a lot, but I'm not an accomplished liar, probably would have said I'd not seen him but was not often there myself, which was true enough (and she had excuses for his absences.) Glad I wasn't there at the times of day of their visits.

By now, given she is still alive, she is in at least her late sixties and a grandmother, having married another fellow sometime later for real and had her own family.

Anyway, listen up to Calamity Jane and Jespah - they're more up to date on things.

Edit to ask, therefore now he doesn't love her anymore?

Thank you for your reply.
A bit more back info. They were introduced by a mutual friend who informed the lady of his situation and she agreed she would help him out. During the process they got close and made it "official". However, he started to realize he couldn't see himself with her forever. They live in two separate states but he sees her regularly. He's tried to back out free times but he's afraid she'll call immigration on him. He does not love her and his family has tried to explain to me. But I'm still indecisive!! He does have a green card but he's waiting on the permanent which he claims he'll get in a year.

Is the judgment you didn't want to hear that you are committing adultery with a man who doesn't mind lying to get what he wants?

It sounds like you are waiting for the silver lining, happily ever after scene in this story.

Go on with your life and let him know if he ever gets his complicated situation squared away to get in touch, otherwise keep it moving.

After that take some time to exam your life. Who did God create you to be and what is your true purpose in life? I find that's always a great place to start over. I encourage you to live the life you were created to live in the image of God. His plans for us are perfect and this doesn't sound like perfection to me. Sounds more like chaos and I'm sure that's not what you want to sign up for.

Thank you for your reply.
Sadly, it's not what I want to hear but you have a point. As a believer I agree with you. However, being 31 I find myself having a hard time letting go...sighhh

Green card, red card, blue card.

31 is NOT old.

Get that around your head.

Just because you are 31 does not mean that you can not find true love. I was first married at 37, perhaps in retrospect thought like you, gave it a go. Divorced. Separated 7 years later, sure as heck still gave it a go.

47 found "the one" married, 3 weeks ago after 6 years.

Get it around your head that 31 is not old.

Here is a saying " if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you, they are yours if they don't they never were".

He's married, full stop, let him sort his carp out and see if he comes back then you will know if it was real or not, in the meantime, get your butt out there, get your hair done, nails and mingle, smile and date.

Agree with Found Soul here.

Thank you for your reply.
Sometimes you need to hear things from people outside your circle for it to really settle in. You last sentence really put a smile on my face. Thank you

Seriously, I would question why he hasn't told you this up front...sounds fishy to me. I would think that if he wasn't honest in the beginning that he won't be honest in the future, plus as my friend would say if he wasn't truthful right away then you're not the one because if you were he would have told you.

I did date a loser once who, while we were together, married a Eastern European gal just so she could get her green card. He did it cause he needed the money and she paid him 5000USD. There was nothing between him and her but I did question his morals.

Anyhow, I'm quite knowledgeable about this as I've been together with a man from another country and I've looked the green card issue. You need to be married 3 years and after that he can apply. However, a green card is not guaranteed after this time and you have to show significance evidence of the union. The authorities may not issue it until after 5 years...it's all dependent on them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is back off, let him sort his issues. I think you're better than this mess.

It sounds like you are waiting for the silver lining, happily ever after scene in this story.

Sounds petty complicated. Have you met the wife? That would certainly bring some clarity if she is able to confirm the story. Do they live together? What else can you share about the facts? Otherwise, I would not get too entangled in this as it could be just a story and on first blush it kind of sounds that way.