what should i do?

Forums: Relationships, Education, Friendship
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so i moved to uni over 3 months ago and haven't been happy with my living arrangements, ive been feeling really lonely and down. However i made friends with a group of girls who were all happy for me to move in with them after Christmas, i was so happy that finally i wouldn't be miserable in my flat and could start experiencing uni to the full. however i had stopped spending as much time with the girls as iv'e had revision for exams etc and so we haven't all been as close as we once were. however they have now decided that they feel distant from me and not sure that they want to live with me, even though i have not done anything. also knowing how lonely and sad i have been feeling in this flat that i am in. This has just ruined everything for me, and i can't believe people i thought were my friends would do this to me and i honestly now don't know what to do or say, can any one give me some advice?

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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 782 • Replies: 6

[+4] - jespah - 12/09/2015You're at university to learn. You had finals, and you studied for them, like any normal person. If your so-called friends can't understand that, and they are only at school to party, you might...

View best answer, chosen by amb123

From what it sounds like, it's nothing personal. It's a group of girls who have probably known each other for a while and they met this awesome friend (you), initially they get super excited to join them. Then once life takes over, and distance is a factor.. They start second guessing that maybe their initial invitation was jumping the gun a little too quickly. It's human nature.

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@amb123,

Hey

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Sometimes living conditions greatly affect relationships. You've been busy and your friends feel distant. It's nobody's fault, just a matter of misunderstanding. You should really rebuild your relationship. Stop blaming each other and just be real with each other.

I know you're feeling lonely in your flat so why not think of ways to improve your home and the way you feel about it. Create some fun and something that you can bond with others. Unwind for a while and spend time with your friends.

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@amb123,

You're at university to learn. You had finals, and you studied for them, like any normal person. If your so-called friends can't understand that, and they are only at school to party, you might want to find a way out of your lease or at least grin and bear it until you can go, and ditch them, as they are not friends of yours.

Undermining your academic achievement with stupid passive-aggressive games is not what friends do.

If you are lonely and depressed at school, consider talking to a school counselor, even your academic advisor, about how you are feeling. This is a transitional period in people's lives, and sometimes they (you) feel down or it can even be more serious than that. Maybe get to the root of the issue before you perhaps latch onto another group of people who turn out to not really be your friends.

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@jespah,

thank you for such good idvice

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@jespah,

* advice

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@amb123,

You're welcome. It can be a weird time, plus you have the stress of exams and papers and whatnot.

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what should i do?

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