Didn't know he was married..

To clarify you are now saying ex-wife .. is he married or not? Makes just a tad bit of difference .

I always see the best in people. I'm sure all have been guilty of misleading others at some point. Does that make everyone unworthy of good company?
I completely understand where you are coming from.

So I guess my question then turns into, do you feel that a platonic friendship is cheating? When he's not stated it needs to be secret?

It is not completely different, just further details. And I posted to ask if I should end a strictly platonic friendship because he hid that he was married?

So if you want to come clean... then flying away and spending a weekend away is platonic?

Sotry but even my teenaged daughters know I am not that dumb.

Everyone has their faults. Does that make everyone not worthy of good company?

The trip was before I found out. To further my reasoning for not being able to wrap my head around him being married when he never called her, etc. Maybe that was hard to understand.

And some people can handle having a non sexual friendship with the opposite sex, some cannot.

He has an ex wife. He is married. I explained that, but it may have been in reply to another comment that you missed.

Might I add that the only "sexual" conversation we've had is..
He knows I like women. He has said to me that he doesn't mind his wife bringing a woman home with her. He has mentioned that we should meet at a bar sometime. And me, having never met her nor seen a picture of her, would only have to assume who she is by her being next to him. That I should flirt with her. Could this be a set up for a weird relationship they have??

Yes most of us on here have friends of the opposite sex without any sort of sexual relationship -- he is untrustworthy - he has shown himself to be that way. Personally I would not want a friend that is untrustworthy. But that is my own personal values.

Again I think you are being naïve he wants to try to get you in the sack again. I am a bit older than you and have experienced more in life... the guy is a sleaze -- just put pen to paper and list what has happened in his life....

negatives -
Divorced...(not that someone who is divorced is necessarily a bad choice as everyone makes mistakes and many learn from them, but when you add everything else with it doesn't sound promising).

Newly married --- you said he was married only a few months when he cheated on his new wife? What the f???

Lies/misleads young woman to have sex

Positives -
Nice guy to talk to and have lunch with

--- I wonder whether the positives outweigh the negatives?

Completely agree with untrustworthy.
My attraction to older men always bites me in the ass.
First one was a raging alcoholic, I found out when I was 6 months deep.
This one ends up being married. Probably why I don't seek sexual relationships with men anymore.

what I said on the last page




not that poly relationships are weird - but they are non-standard

this speaks to my comment previously that we didn't know about the marital relationship

it does appear it is open to at least some degree

find a cute young hot guy - why the older guy?

Not attracted to younger men. Probably due to bad experiences. Something about an older man that makes me feel like they have their **** together.. Although so far that's never been the case.

Okay so I dug a little deeper & got more out of him. Apparently his wife brought up her bringing another girl into bed & she would be okay with him having Sex with the girl. I asked if it was to spice things up or because she likes females. He said he didn't want to ruin the offer so he didn't ask questions.

and you have had good experiences with older men?

Friendships, yes. Relationships, no.
Everyone sucks.

Seeing a man who is married or otherwise committed immediately puts you in second place. Do you really want that? Why can't you find your own man?