Dealing with his female friends

"to each their own"

I am a Christian, and I don't agree at all.

There is a basic assumption here that I feel is wrong. We are not automatically attracted to every member of the opposite sex. (Speaking to hetero married types here.) Just because I am a woman does not mean that I find all men attractive and/or tempting.

I agree that forming a close friendship with a man I DO find tempting is playing with fire. (Not that I can't or wouldn't control myself, though, out of respect for my marriage vows.) But those men are few and far between. What about all the rest of the guys out there? I'm not allowed to have them as friends just because they're male? That seems awfully outdated and unduly restrictive.

Also, I frequently have lunches with clients and associates. Many of them are men. Sometimes we meet one on one, sometimes it's with a group of men. I will continue to do so, and I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. It has never occured to me to feel uncomfortable, because there is nothing illicit about it.

And I respect the "other viewpoint" and believe people can have normal relationships that are harmless with the opposite-sex when married.

Well, no surprise in my answer: I'm a guy, most all my friends have been female for some reason. And I've been pretty close with some of them; yet I havent had any friends that became more than that over time.

If a gf would have demanded I not see them anymore, I would see that as saying something about her that I would not be able to tolerate. Friends are the most important thing in the world - or one of three most important things, anyway, right alongside your family and your significant other. They're a crucial part of your support system - you cannot and should not be asked to rely 100% for everything on one person, thats just not fair, and not safe. Parting with a friend is painful; you have known them, shared much with them, for a long time, it would be unfairly heartbreaking to break 'em off just because someone demands it.

IMO, anyone who demands you to give up any friend is being mean - but hey, if there is something in particular about this one friend that really disturbs your S.O., you have to talk, come to an agreement. But if (s)he demands you to give up your friendS, plural, thats just not acceptable. Someone who wants you to give up your friends for her doesnt really love you, IMO - she wants to have you. Thats something different.

I would tell her where to go with that and to come back when she was ready to love me for who I am, who I have become in the life I've had. You dont get born again the day you marry - you dont wipe the slate of your life and who you are clean - cause the who you are is why the other, hopefully, fell in love with you in the first place.

Anyway, I hope I would tell her where to go with that swiftly and decidedly enough ... I would hope I wouldnt get stuck in some long, torturous thing about it.