we moved fast....

Forums: Relationships, Marriage, Widower, Our Home, Their Home
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He a five year widower and me a divorcee after 27 years. Lonely, seeking companionship, we moved fast. He is a good man... I am a good woman. We love each other... No doubt. We got married and I now live in his home...which was their home and the kids home. Knowing his beautiful wife and the kids mom passed away here at home.... I struggle to make this OUR home. If my husband were to pass away, one daughter in particular will want this house and I completely understand that. I could not nor would I consider this to be my home after the 35 years of marriage together, raising of their children, and making a life together here.... To be mine. I would like to move into a house he and I build together......
My husband has never compared his deceased wife and I ... He says we are two different people and that wouldn't be fair to me if he did. Awesome... And he doesn't ever. Any advice on how to either make this our home or on moving into another house so we can make that our home? The latter is what I would prefer.... Unfortunately I have not been successful at making this OUR home because its not.... Make sense?

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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 2,552 • Replies: 9

[+3] - ehBeth - 12/03/2015How many children are there? can they afford to purchase it now? If you're going the Biblical route remember the whole cleaving thing - your marriage comes before other family members....

@malissadawn,

Can I ask why you moved into his house to begin with - instead of starting life together in a different home?

It would be (and was) a deal-breaker to me to move into a home someone shared with someone else previously.

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@ehBeth,

Never expected it to bother me

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@malissadawn,

Would your husband be open to moving to a new home with you?

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@ehBeth,

My husband is very loving end giving.... Its more of a financial decision. The house would be for the children... Therefore we would need the finances for a new mortgage. He is 68 and it would be difficult.

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@malissadawn,

I have a co-worker who had a similar situation. They have been married for about 4 years-one house has sold and now they are selling the other in hopes of purchasing a place for the 2 of them. They followed Biblical principles including lots of patience and perseverance. Just like to share a couple verses with you but there are so many more.

Romans 5:4 And endurance produces character, and character produces hope
Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer

I am single right now hoping to marry again and one of criteria is finding a partner who is willing to not just read the Bible but follow its commands and precepts in our decision making and especially in how we treat each other. There are a multitude of blessings in being faithful to the word of God-so whether it’s a house question or any other question, I say seek your guidance from the Bible.

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@CeasarSalad,

Without a doubt.. Much prayer and patience have been put into this whole new life. I will continue seeking His Wisdom. Ty

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@malissadawn,

How many children are there? can they afford to purchase it now?

If you're going the Biblical route remember the whole cleaving thing - your marriage comes before other family members.

I'd recommend selling the house, buying a smaller house/condo and living on the balance. The children can inherit whatever is left after their father has died.

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@ehBeth,

Ty.... I will take this into consideration.

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@malissadawn,

Hang in there-you can do it with His help. Money problems can add a lot of stress to your home; not submitting to your husband is another thing to think about; creating strife in your new marriage will hurt you both & stir up doubt about your decision. Have faith that our prayers are being heard and as always, God has the situation under control. Let your love for God and your new husband grow and flourish wherever the 2 of you happen to be. God Bless.

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we moved fast....

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