Is he cheating again or am I paranoid?

Reply Thu 3 Dec, 2015 08:56 am
This is my situation. Been with a guy for over two years. It's been very rocky and abusive. I truly feel he is a narcissist/sociopath. He has zero empathy for anyone but himself. Everything revolves around him and his needs. I have become a shell of the once strong confident woman I was before he got hold of my mind.

He pours on the tears and sympathy when we fight and are apart for a few days. But it's all about him feeling sorry for himself...never me. As he is never in the wrong for anything. He feels entitled to special treatment and I've been told life is gonna be his way or the highway. I must "take care of my man or start kicking rocks". Sweetheart eh?

Back in August of this year, while in a relationship with me, asked a woman out while at work. I found out after he went to work one Saturday and disappeared for the afternoon. When he came home and went for a nap, his phone started getting messages from another woman. I called it and the truth was revealed. I told her who I was and wore his ring.

When I confronted him he said they were just friends and they hung out. No big deal. Let me point out, in our entire relationship I was not allowed to so much as look at another man let alone hang out with. He even threatened my life if caught. But I was completely faithful our entire relationship.

After this revelation all hell broke loose. We parted as I refused to be cheated on. He denied any wrong doing yet after I left for a few days he continued to talk to both of us. For the next few weeks we talked and he basically emotionally blackmailed me with her...saying do what I want sexually or I will choose her. He actually laughed and sent me screenshots of her messages to torture me. It was sick. When I refused to be coerced by him...he decided he needed to find himself. Told me to walk away and give him time. Swore there was nobody else. Well, he pursued her after and they saw each for awhile. My heart was literally shattered as I really loved him and was confused as to how he could cut me off so quickly and move on. The same day he asked for her number he came home to me and called me the love of his life. Like who does that!?? It's sick.

We broke up for about a month and a half. After a few failed attempts at trying to reel other women in...he started trying to reel me back in. Posted things on FB in regards to missing me...count down of the day we last talked. So like a fool, I fell for it. Cause I loved him and wanted to stop hurting.

We started seeing each again, but continued to talk to other woman he swore were just "friends". I had a feeling there was more but he swore he slept with nobody while apart. So one night while he was sleeping I went through his phone. I found messages to his guy friends bragging about having the most amazing sex of his life with a chic we swore he was only friends with. Even sent an after sex picture of the two of them to prove his conquest. She was 31 he was 43. I was devastated and left him. Again he poured on the pitty for himself for a week saying he didn't want to hurt me with the truth. It was the fact he blatantly lied to me over and over about it. He swore to cut all ties with her.

Foolishly, I took him back. About two weeks later I bumped into the first woman he started seeing after me...he again swore they hung out only the one time I caught him. She revealed a lot more. They saw each other for a few weeks and slept together. It didn't end well. She said he was very messed up and had no idea how I stayed with him for two years. I confronted him with this truth and left again. He again poured on the pitty game and knew I had to much of his lies. But swore he loved me and couldn't live life without me. Even threatened to end his life. Again I hesitantly went back to him.

Things were good for awhile. He installed a GPS on our phones so I could see where he was at all times. He wanted to build trust I guess.

My bf works 12 hour days. Thing is, for the past year he started going into work an hour and a half early. He is at the shop most of that time alone and rarely messages me. He has excuses as to why he goes in that early but how dare I question him if he is "working". Anyhow, I started getting that gut feeling something wasn't right yesterday morning after I dropped him off at 6:45 am. He fired off one message to me at 6:58 am "LOVE YOU". I replied but it went unread. So I checked the GPS feature. It located him at work in the back parking lot. This feature is very accurate and updates every 30 seconds. About 2 minutes later I checked again. He was out front on the store by the Main Street. Struck me as odd but brushed it off. At this point, 15 mins had passed and he still hadn't read my message. I checked the GPS again. It located him about 8 blocks away on a residential crescent. He remained there for about 20 mins. At this point I freaked out and jumped in my car to drive to his work. I parked close by, shut my gps off and located him at work again. I called him and he answered. I asked where he had just gone. He swore nowhere but was surprised cause he thought his phone finder was shut off. But it was actually active. We argued and he told me he won't be accused of wrong doings and he had enough of me! ARE YOU KIDDING ME ??? After all his lies and cheating...he was offended by my findings. So now he wants me to walk away as if I did something wrong. All I did was uncover another lie. Does this sound like he is screwing around again and got caught or am I in the wrong here?

Reply Thu 3 Dec, 2015 09:00 am
WTF do you care if this loser is cheating?

Why are you staying with him?

Get some self-respect and send him packing, no matter what he's doing. GPS tracking? Confronting other women? Manipulative behavior?

Why, oh why, would you want to sign up for that bullshit?
0 Replies
Reply Thu 3 Dec, 2015 09:08 am
Why does it matter if he wants you to walk away?

Talk to a counsellor to find out why you haven't already walked away on your own.
0 Replies
Tes yeux noirs
Reply Thu 3 Dec, 2015 09:25 am
He installed a GPS on our phones so I could see where he was at all times. He wanted to build trust I guess

Or maybe so he could see where you were at all times, and you could see where he had placed the phone that you know about. He seems to think you are trusting and easily fooled therefore. Trust is not generated by GPS.

Reply Thu 3 Dec, 2015 12:01 pm
@Tes yeux noirs,
Tes yeux noirs wrote:

Trust is not generated by GPS.

This should be embroidered on a sampler.
0 Replies

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