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Don't know what boyfriend wants from me

 
 
et04
 
Reply Fri 20 Oct, 2017 01:10 am
We've been dating for 3 years and he says that I haven't changed. By change he means pick up hints for when he's pissed about things before it blows up which I'm very bad at because the things he think is a big problem isn't the same for me and I usually go by the philosophy "if he does it and I don't like it then I wouldn't do that to him either". Today, He was okay all day and I wasn't in my room and all of the sudden when I get back I see multiple missed calls from him. He calls me again and calls me a dumb ass bitch repeatedly and calls me ignorant. I commented (a couple of weeks ago) on my friend's boyfriend's Instagram picture that his outfit look nice because he was wearing business attire and that's what my boyfriend is so hung up on because he took it as him looking good in general. He kept yelling at me and saying that he wants to break up because I'm ignorant and he doesn't trust me. I tell him what I do all the time but it's always the same thing, I'm either eating, studying, or watching YouTube. As an engineering major I really don't have a lot of time to do much other things honestly. Something similar happened in the past, my best friend was a guy and he lived 3 hours away from me and we used to talk all the time andt I introduced him to my other girl friend and they started dating but my boyfriend didn't like him and didnt trust him and made me cut him out of my life which I don't care now but from that I guess he feels like I just won't change?... He expects me to know who he's pissed off at and that I should immediately unfollow and stop talking to them and I guess I could see where I'm ignorant because I don't catch on since school is my priority... I just feel so sad because I don't really know what to do and I ask him what I should do but he just says that I'm an "ignorant dumb ass bitch who has no common sense". it hurts me a lot because I always told him, esp in the beginning of the relationship, that I didn't like him cussing at me. I just feel like he makes me feel so stupid and actually a bitch like he says. He also got mad at me for not posting about him enough but in general I haven't posted in like over a month and he said that I look like a girl who would cheat on him. He threatened to delete all our pictures and break up with me if I don't change and understand his feelings better but to me a lot of things seems important and I forget to think in his shoes. I don't want to keep sounding like I'm defending myself but I literally do nothing all day. I want him to be happy and most of the time he is, I don't know why he gets randomly angry about things that happen awhile ago or randomly after being fine. I want to understand him better and have a happy relationship but I don't know how to fix things or change because it's not like I want to be ignorant
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Oct, 2017 07:02 am
Why surround yourself with such negativity? This guy has problems and he takes them out on you. Instead of standing up for yourself, you worry about his need for "feeling loved".

Your "not doing anything" is a sign of depression. Your low self esteem and his narcissist nastiness are not a good combination.

Is there a counseling center on campus where you could talk about this?

Sorry to be so blunt, but you need to see this relationship for what it is.



0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Oct, 2017 11:24 am
@et04,
Why are you in a relationship with a person who you describe as being unkind and nasty?

There are much nicer people out there. Being without a boyfriend would have to be better than putting up with [email protected] like that.

I'd recommend breaking it off, focusing on classes, spending time with nice people.

Life is too short to put up with the things you report him saying and doing.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Oct, 2017 11:25 am
@et04,
et04 wrote:
He threatened to delete all our pictures and break up with me


that's not much of a threat

take him up on it

life will be nicer for you
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 20 Oct, 2017 11:39 am
@et04,
Why the hell would you bother staying 3 minutes let alone 3 years with someone who calls you nasty names?

You deserve better than this. Kick his sorry ass to the curb. Life does not have to be this way.
0 Replies
 
cruzlorenzo
 
  0  
Reply Fri 10 Nov, 2017 07:00 am
@et04,
You need to talk
0 Replies
 
 

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