Has he lost interest in me?

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Thanks in advance for the advice! I’ve been on 2 dates w a guy over the last month, and both were great. For the first couple of weeks we were talking he seemed really into me (texting and complimenting me all the time). Last weekend, I suggested that we hang out but he said he wanted to work on his music. Fair enough. I asked him to send me some of his songs, which he did over the course of the weekend, but now the daily texts and cutesy language are gone. I told him I liked the songs he sent me, and all I got in response was something like “Thanks! Hope you had an awesome weekend!” : / I’m really into him, but I’m afraid I’ll scare him off if I start texting him and suggesting that we hang out again (since I didn’t get a positive response last time). Everyone says “if he’s not texting you, then he’s not into you.” That seems logical enough, but I’m finding it really hard to totally give up on him, bc I really do like him. Is there any hope with this guy, or has he lost interest in me? Should I text him?

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Type: Question • Score: 9 • Views: 1,343 • Replies: 13

@SofiaBulgaria,

Keep your shirt on. In the meanwhile why not date his brother?

1 Reply

@Ragman,

"Keep my shirt on" meaning I'm overreacting? And he doesn't have a brother... Sad

And is that a no on texting him?

3 Replies

@SofiaBulgaria,

Sofia: I was using my flippant American causal humor. I mean no disrespect. Yes, I think possibly you might be over-reacting. you're guessing that his lack of detailed reply, is him pulling away; however, that may be totally off-base.

If it were me, I'd cool it with this guy and take a more casual approach. He possibly will sense the change and, if interested, will be more responsive. If not, there'll be plenty more interested guys.

A piece of old-timer's advice and a word to the wise: Texting is just so impersonal and non-intimate. If you want to get to know a guy, talk on the phone or in person. Skip the texting. It leads to misunderstandings more often than not.

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@SofiaBulgaria,

Ragman is a crappy person.

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@SofiaBulgaria,

Pay no attention to Tuna, he's not very bright (bless hi heart).

1 Reply

@glitterbag,

I have no problem with you glitterbag. You haven't demonstrated the need to be mean to people posting philosophical questions.

1 Reply

@SofiaBulgaria,

It sounds like it was a pretty casual dating/hanging out situation that the guy has cooled off on.

Have you already sent a text suggesting you hang out in the future? if so, I wouldn't suggest further action on it at this point. If not, send one text suggesting you do something casual this month.

Keep in mind that December/Christmas/New Years is an awkward time to start dating. People sometimes worry that there will be expectations of gifts and/or significant NYE dates. It might be safest to wait til the new year, but I don't see the harm in one simple "hey let's hang out" text.

1 Reply

@Tuna,

Neither has Ragman, but you have been petty for reasons I really don't understand. Make snap judgements about members and then deal with the other members reactions. That's how it works in the cold light of day. I have spent many hours with discussing philosophy when I was at University and later with pals and even now in my dotage if I can find anyone with milage on them that enjoys the mental and verbal challenge.

The two posts I gigged you on were not philosophical topics, so don't call people 'nasty' or 'mean' for trying to help others with life problems. And for everything that is holy or decent, don't send PM's to members to insult them.

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@ehBeth,

Thanks for your response. No, I haven't texted him yet. Should I?

I know he's out of town for the Christmas / New Years weeks, which is kind of why I want to see him before he goes.

I should also mention that on our last date we talked about what we would do next (i.e., which restaurant we would try). But that was 2 weeks ago... Has he changed his mind? Should I bring up those plans?

1 Reply

@SofiaBulgaria,

We can't know if he changed his mind. He is the only one who knows that.

Given your last interaction I wouldn't suggest bringing up previous plans at this point. A casual text or email saying something like

Quote:

hi, want to get together for a coffee before you leave for the holidays

is probably enough. Then leave it alone til he responds.

In the meantime go on with your regular life. Go out with other people. Enjoy the holidays.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Okay, thanks for your input Smile

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@SofiaBulgaria,

I think the best thing is to play it cool. I'd say just be yourself and be natural not forced. Let it all play itself the way it should. If it happens it happens and if it doesn't then fine.

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@SofiaBulgaria,

What I do if the guy isn't interested in me you know what? You have to test him? Yep and you will find the answer. Text him again and say hey how are you. If no reply you got the answer move on. If he text back than maybe hes interested its kinda hard maybe he wants to be your friend too. But if he doesn't text with you like a conversation than move on not interested in you. that's life but you know what their are gr8 guys out their I know. bye

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Has he lost interest in me?

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