Gave a an ex BFF a present but..

So after a year you just up and decide to give the this guy a gift? How did you think it would not be awkward for him when you saw him again? I mean, talk about confusing for the guy. If I were him, I really would be scratching my head right now and maybe even thinking that you are a bit nuts. He had moved on and it seems like you have not.

BTW, closure is way over-rated.

When you broke up that was closure.

Your gift via proxy was giving him a mixed message...and could have seen as a peace offering. giving some one a gift who you on longer speak with is very confusing to the ex-bf. He didn't know what to do when you were both present so he opted out. can you blame him?

Let it go. You attempted to do a good thing but it met with disappointment on your part and confusion on his. He was unsettled.

He knows how to get in touch with you, if that's his choice.

Strange you didn't present it yourself. I suspect your BFF was "over it" and you were not. For your health and well being, move on. Be cordial if you see him, but no more. By the way, BFF's never let arguments destroy the connection. So I would argue he was never a BFF, just a good friend.

whoa

giving an ex bff a gift a year later

way to make things awkward

__

next time - don't

We still see each other at college, and he wasnt just some friend. He was my best friend. Its going to be his birthday soon, I thought it would be a good idea to do it. At the same time it was a way of saying sorry for the things that happened. I actually thought he would rejected the present. And for me it was some kind of clousure because yeah i felt guilty all this time and some months ago before the present he would looked at me awkward even if i didnt. Obviously im not trying to forced him to talk to me again .

Leave it alone.

You shouldn't have bought him a gift at this point.

Leave it alone.

Like i said to someone else, i gave it to him like a way of telling I was sorry and because this month is his birthday. He wasnt some random friend, and i felt guilty all this time. Thats it, I dont plan on contacting him or talk to him.

WTF, he was my best friend. honestly is not like im bothering him or something. If he didnt want the present he could just say so and its about to be his birthday. He is really honest when he doesnt like or agree with someone. So i thought it was a good sign. I dont plan on talking to him again. My god, is that so hard to understand. He was the one who would looked at me awkward and resentful everytime he would see me at school and i felt guilty.

yes

you seem to have made a determined effort to make an awkward situation more awkward - and were successful

Let's understand what's going on. You asked for independent objective advice here. In return we're offering you this advice but you don't want advice that is contradictory to what you'd like to hear.

He's done with it. You're not.

So be it.

was

the key word is was

he is no longer your best friend and apparently not a friend anymore

I asked honestly because I wasnt sure of that decision. I told one of my close friends if it was a good idea, he said yes.I was kind of reggretting it. So at the end i just did it. And my friend told me he was actually really surprised but happy when he told him I sent it to him. He didnt even make a face or acted angry. So I thought we could finally see each other like any other person.

I'm going to come straight out with it.

Learn from your mistake. He "was" your best friend, you feel terribly guilty, it's been eating you alive for a year, what ever you did, obviously was a definite "no, no" and for some reason I'm tending to thing BFWB. Not just, friends.

It's your guilt, not his, get over it, learn from it, don't do it again to the next BFF.

Thanks for answering. And yeah I learned, thats why i did it. We had a thing for a while but that ended in good terms. I had depression at the time and I kind wanted to get away from him. That kinda affected our friendship because he would tell me I would only think about my problems,. Then we had that huge argument and since then we would talked but he was still angry and he would just tell me to give him time. He just wanted it to let it go with time but I actually wanted to talk to him because I needed someone to talk at the time. But yeah Im actually happy we part ways. Our friendship was really confusing at times.

You had sex. He wasn't after a relationship.

He thought "time" would make you move on, it hasn't, you gave him a present, you are confused because you want "somebody" but he's not it.

Hope you are doing something about your depression, it's very real and not a nice thing to go through, if not, focus on that because otherwise, you will find yourself in the same boat with the next guy, as relationships are a two way thing.

Actually we never had sex. He was the one telling to take our time and feel it instead of just doing it, he would said I was special to him and he couldnt treat me as someone who he met at some random party. And at the time I had other issues, I just needed it someone to talk to and we were friends but I kinda think he was dealing with his own problems at the time. I gave him the present because I knew I was the one at fault. Right now Im doing fine and I actually got with a guy who had some of the same issues, thats how I learned about dealing with people with depression and how my friend felt. But with this guy we just ended as friend. He was really confused about loving different people and at the end he went back with his ex, even if she cheated on him, but i guess some people just like people treating them like **** lol.