HOW TO HAVE GAME...I WANT HIM BACK!

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Edit: Moderator: Moved from General to Relationships

SORRY SO LONG BUT PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING!
Okay, me and this boy was together for a very short time...2 WEEKS! He broke up with me because he said I expected too much in a relationship than he did.Then he said that a girl that he liked for a year started to talk to him and he said he sort of liked her n he thought it was wrong if he was going out with me then had her on the back of his mind. So we broke up and it hurt me. Well we stayed friends and he told my friend he still liked me. But we never went out again. He started to act different in a good way. So one day we were in the mood and I did u know what with him. I know that was stupid but it just happened. But he still acted the same in a good way...after we "did it." But I stopped talking to him because I heard that he did not like me like that. This whole summer I didn't talk to him. Now we talk as friends and those feelings are coming back. He told me he changed. On the phone he acts so sweet and he doesn't want me to get off the phone when my sis has to call somebody. He also asked me did I talk to anybody or try to get with them and he got kind of mad cuz he heard that I was over him. But I told him I am not. We talked last night but I was thinking to get him back do I have to have "game." My friend told me that a boy wants what he can't have. Do u think if I play this little game with him will he start to want me again? These days u cannot just tell boys you like them if u know what i mean. But school is going to start soon and i need to know what to do! Sorry so long but please help me asap! Crying or Very sad

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well first of all, to play the game, you have to reel him in a little more first. I'm not exactly sure how you play the game so it all depends. I wouldn't try to be too confusing but being a little reserved is necessary.

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First off, this topic should be in Relationships and Marriage girl! You'll get better advice there. My opinion, just be straight up and honest about what you want. Lay it on the line and don't make yourself too availible. But...don't get suckered either. Be wise. If that's 'game' then go for it.

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Okay what I mean as game is that do I play hard to get with him, or tease him, do things to make him come up to me...you know. I don't want to tell him how I feel because it might make me look easy to get. And then he might be a little to confident in himself and think he is the s**t!

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This should definitely go in the relationships 'n' marriage section. You will get a lot of good advice there.

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Reeling him in involves (in part) playing hard to get. You don't have to play too much (personally, I hate relationship games). But you don't have to be the girl he has on tap all the time. After all, if you show him that you have other interests and a life, you'll be more interesting - not just to him, but to everyone. But if all you do is sit alone and wait by the telephone, he'll get bored. It's not so much the thrill of the chase I'm talking about here, but the value you will have if you have diverse interests other than him.

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Good advice, jespah.

When people talk about 'playing games', it often involves a lot of very childish behaviour all designed to manipulate the object of one's desire. Not good.

Being unattainable (what he can't have) might seem like a good way to pique his interest, but in the long run it will just make him think that you are either not interested, or worse, not interesting.

So I suppose it's about maintaning balance in your relationship. Yes, be interested in him (after all, guys love to talk about themselves) but remember to retain your individuality (and never blow off your friends for a guy, they wont appreciate it).

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Do you want a guy to play games with--or do you want a love relationship which well may lead to marriage?

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Marriage? Considering they're in school still it's possible they really do just want someone to play games with at this stage.

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I'd replace possible with positive but I don't know...wait for mizzcutie for that one. this is all good advice. I know when girls play mind games with me it only pisses me off and makes me end up doing stupid things, but a little reel in reel out is certainly important.

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Am I the only adult here that is willing to give her the BEST advice? Keep your legs closed until you are old enough to understand what "doing it" really is with a guy you love, Mizzcutie. If I were you I would flirt and have fun, but I would NOT be having sex with any guys. Not everyone does it, honey. You'd be more interesting to the guys in school if you didn't, in fact. (Geesh! " Good advice..." C'mon, people...!!! This is a teen for crying out loud!)

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Understood PamO. However, such advice is not likely to get noticed.

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So then you tell teens what they WANT to hear, and look the other way when they tell you they are having sex? Very irresponsible advice, in my opinion. All teens are too young for sex. Gosh, I hope my daughter never finds this site!

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I must have glossed over that in the original post. Teens are going to do it eventually, and from what I've seen here in this forum, the teens vary wildly in what they do and don't do. If you are going to "do", just be responsible, or save it for later. I'm halfway with PamO on this one, but I do think that teens really differ in their sensibilities, hopefully from parental involvment and sensitivity. I think if you talk to your kids, raise them right, make them feel comfortable talking to you about difficult choices, it's all good.

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You make many assumptions PamO. I understand that you wish for young people to be safer (more moral?) in their experiences.

However, I would like to point out that none of the posters here have in any way advised mizzcutie to have sex with this boy. The topic was not addressed as it was not the subject of mizzcutie's question. I doubt any of us here would advise promiscuity on our worst day and I resent the implication that we would and/or have.

My objection to your original post was not one of morality, I was, in fact, pointing out that, when a girl asks you about boys, jumping up and down and saying "Don't have sex! Don't have sex!" is not going to help her the slightest bit. Such behaviour will, in fact, breed resentment and avoidance.

I would like very much to rant at you a while about your bald statement that "all teens are too young to have sex", however, in the name of civility, I shall merely put it down to a rather clumsy generalisation and leave it there.

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Thanks cav! And also to Fortune, I understand where you are coming from as well, I think. I am not a Bible thumper from the South, honestly. I truly believe that teens need /deserve/and WANT conservative guidance from adults. I think Mizzcutie sounds like a young teen, indeed. I'd like to let her know that there is soooo much more to being a teen than giving it up. And not all teens do it. I didn't! My gosh, having sex is a huuuge step and then after you've done it...What then? (Trying to worry about sex has no place in teen years! ) And now, everyone knows where to get it. You will mysteriously be very popular with the guys...and for what? Save it for later and for someone special. And then TELL THEM you saved it for them. Also, Mizzcutie...be a Mizzsmarty, instead.. guys love the smart ones! If you're cute and attractive looking on top of smart...BONUS! Finally, I love teens, and I am on their side.

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Fortune, I understand your point. And I have to apologize for turning this thread around on the author. I just noticed that she was mentioning having sex so casually and I did assume that she was a young teen. The way Mizzcutie writes, her mention of sex, they were huge red flags to me. I do not think ALL teens are too young for sex...afterall, my gmom married at 14 and had 4 kids by the age of 20. Remember, I am from the South! Wink

. I want Mizzcutie to know that she doesn't have to do it to be hip or game. I enjoy different points of view...I do! That's why I enjoy this site. But I do think special care should be used when an obvious teen or child is the author.

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That is what I want to do reel him in. I don't want to be immature about it and childish. I want him to see that I care about him and maybe he will soon care about me to the point where we are together. I don't want to tell him I want a relationship with him because of what I hear that relationship or long term relationship thing may "chase" the boy away. I am in high school and I don't want to act like I am childish! It wasn't meant to act that way! But in the long run I want us to be together n I want him interested in me. I don't want it to be opposite from that. I also am not worrying about marriage right now.

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So, you want this boy to be your boyfriend. The healthiest relationships are based on honesty, playing games with his head is a certain way to drive him away. Having said that, one of the most enjoyable parts of the dating scene at your age is flirting. Learn how to flirt! He'll get the idea that you're interested without you having to put too much on the line.

With PamO's maternal advice in mind, always remember that your body is your own, just because you "did it" once in NO way means you are obliged to do it again. It is actually probably a better idea to leave that until you're a little older (not to mention in love for real).

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mizzcutie--

Probably my post was poorly written. I was advocating honesty in love relationships--including but not inclusive of marriage.

You write "reel him in"--this is a living, breathing human male--not a rainbow trout or a tuna fish.

If you must use a fishing metaphor, consider yourself as irresistible bait rather than conniving angler.

Since you're sexually active, I assume you are protecting yourself against pregnancy and STD's.

Good luck.

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HOW TO HAVE GAME...I WANT HIM BACK!

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