Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2015 08:44 am
Out of the blue, he appeared at our doorstep. After many years of prolonged absence, we greeted him with boundless affection. Flabbergasted by the repetitive hugs and kisses that rained on him, he was speechless and spellbound. Oh! How we missed this "Goliath of Wits", for without which our lives would have been stale and lifeless!

Any error??
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 518 • Replies: 9
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dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2015 11:59 am
@kuben123,
When out of the blue after many years of prolonged absence he appeared at our doorstep we greeted him with boundless affection. Flabbergasted by the hugs and kisses rained upon him, he was speechless and spellbound. Oh! how we missed this "Goliath of Wits,"without whom our lives would have been stale and lifeless!

The first couple of sentences had to be reworded to assure the reader the absence was his not ours, while the trend is away from unnecessary commas. But, Kuben, see how I myself violate the rule....

Oh! how I assert, usu don't need cap after pucnt

In the second, "that" might be extraneous while "repetitive" might be repetitive

Finally, "for" dangles, while "which" seems to imply inanimate, while the comma ordinarily comes between

Edited to note however how "...missed this "Goliath of Wits,"without..." is somewhat alliterative, but I won't attempt to fix it unless you feel it necessary

Happy to elaborate or correct any typos
Tes yeux noirs
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2015 12:48 pm
@dalehileman,
Quote:
Oh! how I assert, usu don't need cap after pucnt


Disagree; exclamation mark terminates a sentence, even of one word in length.

Quote:
many years of prolonged absence

Redundant: either many years absence, or prolonged absence.

Quote:
for without which our lives would have been stale and lifeless!


No "for"; without whom our lives...

Tes yeux noirs
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2015 12:52 pm
Dale, you should spell words out in full when replying to foreign learners, lest you multiply their confusion.

dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2015 05:56 pm
@Tes yeux noirs,
Yea Tes, probably should. However it might prove constructive
0 Replies
 
dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Nov, 2015 05:58 pm
@Tes yeux noirs,
Quote:
Oh! how I assert, usu don't need cap after pucnt

Quote:
Disagree; exclamation mark terminates a sentence, even of one word in length.
Tes, practice varies

https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=capitalization+after+punctuation
Tes yeux noirs
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Nov, 2015 01:28 am
@dalehileman,
Quote:
Tes, practice varies

Conceded.
0 Replies
 
dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Nov, 2015 12:20 pm
@Tes yeux noirs,
Quote:
many years of prolonged absence

Quote:
Redundant: either many years absence, or prolonged absence
.

Quote:
for without which our lives would have been stale and lifeless!

Quote:
No "for"; without whom our lives...



Good'n' Tes, tho I blame impending yardwork, actually those two left me out in the cold
kuben123
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Nov, 2015 01:55 pm
@dalehileman,
When out of the blue after many years of absence he appeared at our doorstep, we greeted him with boundless affection. Flabbergasted by the hugs and kisses rained upon him, he was speechless and spellbound. Oh! how we missed this "Goliath of Wits,"without whom our lives would have been stale and lifeless!

This looks right?
dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Nov, 2015 02:59 pm
@kuben123,
Yea Kuben, the "prolonged" does seem a bit redundant

The commas are okay too tho the trend is away

0 Replies
 
 

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