No contact. Im heartbroken

Keep your nose out of this business.

Stay out of the drama.

Get counseling if this bothers you. Build a life without him, one where you don't try to reopen old wounds for no good reason.

yes you can

you have to make the decision to do so and then actually do it

wallowing does not help after the first couple of hours

if necessary, get counselling to figure out why you had the affair and to move yourself forward

tell your partner so they can fairly decide if they still want to be with you

Whatever was missing from your primary relationship still can be worked on, can't it? you never broke that off so there may still be some hope, right?

You mentioned children, are you saying that you have children yourself?

What you do now is to continue on with your life before you met him. Whatever positive activities and direction you had in your life before, you can re-dedicate yourself to that growth now. Eliminate him from your thoughts and life. In time, this hurt and obsession will fade off.

Eventually, that relationship was doomed to end -especially because the person who he said he was, is a lie. You were involved with someone who was not real. The picture that he wanted to paint to you was not a real person. Focus now in your life on what is real and what is positive for yor growth.

In the future, you might want to follow this quote: "Trust but verify."
I wish you good healing and good luck.

Thank you guys! It's good to know that I can speak about this without being ripped apart and being labeled as a homewrecker. Let me be a little more clear about my current situation. I do share one daughter with my current partner. We have been together for 8 years and for the most part have had a pretty healthy and normal relationship. When the affair began I didn't even realize that I was unhappy in my current relationship. My partner found out about the affair 6 weeks prior to his girlfriend finding out about the affair. I obviously chose to stay with my partner and keep my family together. Once i made that decision in July, I never seen him again. However we would still talk regularly. It was like he couldn't let go, he would text or call everyday. Once all his lies were exposed, I stayed extremely angry for a couple of weeks. Now I find myself making excuses for him and all the lies. I am no longer angry I'm hurt, the healing process has just began. I don't know how to deal with the overwhelming feeling of grief. I know he is in damage control and can't call or have any contact with me without risky his family. After all he has done, I can't believe I'm even finding myself wondering if he will ever try to make contact with me again.

does your partner know that you are still curious about/interested in the other man?

have you started counselling?

I think he has a pretty good idea I'm suffering from the lose of him. I haven't directly told him. However, its pretty clear, my emotions are all over the place.I'm sad and cry a lot. I haven't began counseling, although I am considering it. I keep pushing contacting a therapist back, thinking once I get past the initial withdrawal process I will begin to feel better.

It's been a month since your ex's gf contacted you.

Time to move on - sounds like you need help from a counsellor.

Be honest with your partner. You've already bullshitted him enough.