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Thu 29 Jul, 2004 02:00 pm
This is the case of my two-coworkers... (Seriously, this isn't me I'm talking about...) I'll call them Jane and Jason. Jane is who I befriended first at work, then she got romantically involved with Jason, and that's how I got to know Jason better.
Well, these two are always coming to me complaining about eachother! They've been on and off for about a year and 1/2. Jason is 30ish and he wants to settle down. He said "I'm looking for a wife, not a girlfriend." He's a divorced single parent of a 9 year old daughter. He sees his biological clock ticking.... He wants a bigger family. Jane, on the other hand, is early twenties, never married, no children. Jane gets along with the daughter just fine, she treats her as if she were her own child. She even said if Jason were to ask her to marry him, she would. She's not looking for any flings and flungs.
The problem: Jane has a serious attitude problem. She's moody, has a short fuse, and has no problem being a "rude b!tch." She snaps at Jason a lot (and any other person who may "get on her nerves"), and he can't stand her attitude! He loves everything else about her, but he feels the relationship cannot go any further if she doesn't adjust her attitude. She also agrees with this! So far, nothing has worked. Does anyone have any "anger managment" advice I can give to both Jane and Jason??
The best advice you can give, whenever they complain about one another is - "I'm sorry but I am friends with both of you and I cannot listen to this." And mean it. Just walk away.
Why? Because anything you say is going to end up negatively reflecting on you, no matter what you say, no matter how gently, no matter how well-meaning you are. Walk away from this and any time they try to put you into this position again, change the subject or leave the room. These people are insensitively trampling upon their relationship with you. If they want a counselor, they should hire one.
Jespah's right. Stay out of the middle. The three of you were hired to do a job for your employeer, not to role play in a Real Life Soap Opera.
Jane knows she has to change--her problem. Jason likes/loves her...but...--His problem.
You want a happy ending? Stifle your good indentions and find a good piece of chick lit with enough substance to give yourself some escape.
Lord, what fools these mortals be. (Me included).
I agree with Jes and Noddy.
Good luck.
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