how do you get over an X dying

I've had an ex boyfriend die (not the same, but it's what I've got).

It's certainly a weird feeling, that you survived, and he did not.

Sorrow, I'm sure, is utterly appropriate. But so are some regrets. It's not that you loved this guy more than you love your husband; it's more that we naturally as human beings tend to think of 'what if?'. And when there's a death, that 'what if' impulse strengthens.

Consider counseling if, say, a month goes by and you still feel wonky.

It's not just HIM that died. It is the past - the good and the bad. And therefore, it can be felt as a loss.

Did you have children with him?

I disagree somewhat, Punkey, but don't dismiss your take.

I have not had lovers die yet, that I know of, and I'm pretty old. The past is, of course, past, and has been, even before the op's ex's death. But good things can be remembered forever.

This will sound like quibbling, but your calling this person X is sort of a way to talk of a once loved person as a nobody. I know you don't mean that.