Do I Still Love My Girlfriend

threeunder--

Welcome to A2K.

Why have you and your girlfriend been fighting for the last month? What are the arguements about? Who "wins"? Is there an erotic dimension to your reconciliations?

You can't turn back time or cancel the changes that time and maturing are bringing to each of you, but you can examine what is happening before you decide that what is happening is inevitable.

I agree with Noddy, you should give us some more info regarding what you argue about, and how you reconcile things. I have an inkling of a feeling (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that maybe you might be maturing emotionally and she might not be yet. 15 and 17 aren't that far away, but I know that when I was both ages, I definitely felt different at 17 than 15 regarding relationships and the girls I dated.

"I definitely felt different at 17 than 15 regarding relationships" Right.

My experience, no need to assume otherwise or doubt.

Erm, unless of course you are agreeing with me. In that case, ignore that post of mine. Man, the internet is so confusing with no tone of voice involved.

I AM agreeing with you! I think we all can relate to the truthfulness of what you said. It's a part of growing up.

Well, then there is a great example of defusing a possible conflict! Yes, 17 is really quite different from 15. At 15, I would have never thought that there might be two solutions to a problem, OR that I might be wrong.

They're right, 15 and 17, although just two years difference, can be a pretty big difference. It's like, 13 and 18 (5 years apart) is innapropriate, but 25 and 30 is perfectly fine (also 5 years difference.) The reason why you might feel like you don't love her, is because indeed, YOU DON'T LOVE HER!! And I didn't mean that in a mean way. You're so young, just taking the first big steps in your life. And I know this because I was your age 4 years ago. And then I grew up just a little, and realized there's so much more to life than boys and parties and having the nicest clothes. I think the best advice I can give you (speaking from personal experience) is do well in school and make something of your life. Love will come along when the time is right.

The fights
Some of the fights are about sexual behaviors and some are about little things i say that make her mad, like things i joke around about. She mostly wins but alot of the time says she is being a bitch and is sorry, so the apologies are bout even. But i just feel so different. Even with everyone else in my life. I feel like all the feelings i once had about everything are gone. But i know i love her but it just feels weird. Iwas thinking i might have a chemical imbalance or something else wrong. I just don't feel myself.

But i don't want to lose her
She is the best thing in my life and helped me through many rough times, one including suicide. Will this feeling go away? I need it to becuase i love her so much.

I think maybe you are relying too heavily on her for your happiness. If you feel that you are clinically depressed or have a chemical imbalance, go see a doctor. That's the only way to know for sure. What you really need to do, one way or the other, is learn to be strong for yourself. I would really suggest seeing a professional for a proper diagnosis.

sexual behaviors!? Please do not tell us...I mean I HOPE you two aren't having sex. I do not live under a rock...I know these things happen... if you are...there's your problem.

Sex
No we are not having sex but we do tend to fool around. But i feel really different bout her and alot of people. Do you think this could be a chemical imbalance.

Ok, Threeunder....by the way "welcome." I did not get a chance to read your last post so...I 'll go easy on the "too young for sex thing." I like Cavfancier's advice real well. Also, I think that you would be smart to talk to someone who is a bit older and who also cares about you...If you attend a church, do you have a youth pastor in your church you could go to? Do you have an Uncle that may understand?

Whew! Well I'm real proud of you! As for the chemical imbalance idea...where do you get that idea? You sound a little depressed...but that's normal. Is your homelife stable? Are your parents supportive? As for the fooling around, keep it at just that...it's a great time in your young life right now. I look back and go..."Whee, that was fun!" Oh and again, I'm very proud of you for not going the sex route!

An uncle
I do have an uncle i can talk to. But i don't want to end the realtion ship. Just the way i think about everything is different. Like this feeling hit me like a ton of bricks and has not gone away. I don't like this feeling.

Honey, (that's the "mom" coming out in me), you may not have control over whether or not the relationship ends. If she seems to be pulling away, it may be best to know that there will be others...so go your own way too. I def. think you should talk with your Uncle though still. As for the depressed feelings you are having...I would get in my car and go to the coast for a nice loooong run on the seawall. Now, thta's what I would do to feel better....how about you? What do you like to do?

I know the feeling. But love is equally about feelings and faith and endurance. Those are things you have to rely on while you work things out; it is not a chemical imbalance, you feel that way for a reason, but the only way to really know what that reason is is to give it some time.

Re: An uncle


You can talk to him without ending the relationship, just to get another perspective from someone close to you.