A boy love me a lot and I am confused about him

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This boy loves me a lot. He always does everything for me. When I got admission in MBA he was the one who always supported me and was too much happy for me. I came for doing MBA and he went to onsite for earning some money.
But since the day he went onsite, he wants to live his life and just explore different places. He just think about him not for our future life. He even say that after marriage we should live our life the way we want to and if we need any help we will be there. I feel as if he thinks that marriage also the two remains two whereas for me its the bind which makes two person as one.
For achieving me he went to my family n cried a lot in front of them so as to get me and made lots of promises to my family that he will renovate his house and to me that we will travel and he wil keep me happy.
But now even when I cry he doesnot bother anymore. He leaves me alone and the whole night I will be crying but he wil sleep.
When I ask him to save some money to fulfill the promises that he made then he says if I wud nt hv cm to onsite then too i wud nt have fulfilled those then why are u worried for it.
Now I am worried about will he be able to handle me or not.
After 1 day he console me and I am not able to leave him . Whenever I leave him after 4 or 5 days whenever I am disturbed its only he that comes into my mind and I call him and talk to him.
But again after some days we went into some fight. Then same thing resolves. He is adamant that he wants to marry me although he also gets irritated from me sometimes and same happens with me too. But I am always confused. I make mind but something happens that we are not able to separate or mingle with each other.
I want to come to some decision as this disturbs my parents and me too.
I am not able to study now because of not being able to make this decision. That too doesnot bother him.
Whenever I say something to him,he thinks that I am putting restrictions on him but never thinks that I am thinking about our future.
Also I sometimes feel that I want some knowledgeable person also with good english and knowledge and he doesnot fulfill any but then too when I leave him I am not able to stay to my decision.
Now he has lost his patience and he is fine even if I leave him
Please help what to do.

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Type: Question • Score: 0 • Views: 2,727 • Replies: 22

@love2,

You fight, he isn't working to fulfill the promises he made to you and your family, he doesn't comfort you when you're upset, and he's apparently saying he can take or leave you.

So, why are you allowing yourself to be treated this way?

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@love2,

If you want my honest opinion, you are very clingy and needy.

I see that he is trying to tell you that you two can be individual people, living your own lives, yet as one, married. That you see, if you cry, if you yell, if you demand, if you ask, he must come to all of those immediately and he must just live for you, not live a life.

This is not a marriage and this is not good for you either, you need to be individual people "coming together" but leading lives that are both separate and together.

I do think that he loves you but he's trying to give you a very strong message that you are not listening to.

I don't know if he can "handle you" as you want a knight. You should want a man, who loves you.

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

I want honest reviews only
Thanks for your reply.
But I am not hindering him from living his life but just want him to leave his casual attitude and think something about our future too.
Is this wrong that a gal demands this much from a boy.
If I am accepting everything and leaving my home then can't a girl expect some responsibility from a boy end.
Will I be responsible for everything?

1 Reply

@love2,

Not really but if you think that he has a casual attitude and you are ready for marriage, do you perhaps think he's not mature enough to handle marriage? Or if not, that you two are not on the same wavelength and may not ever be?

I think no one should demand anything of anyone. We belong to ourselves, in that, we "marry" that being we become perfect partners for each other, as we are on the same wave length in life, same goals, same values, same beliefs.

I think you should not leave your home. I think that you should ascertain if he is ready for marriage and commitment and you can work together in harmony, if not, hold of for another year or two.

Even if it doesn't work out at least you didn't marry and end up Divorced or if you don't believe in that, end up extremely un-happy with life.

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

Please tell me that In a marriage everyone has some choices like wise I always thought of having an intelligent guy, caring and loving guy.

All other issues are resolved between us. But is it wrong on my part to think and want this much.

In arrange marriage, I can get an intelligent guy but don't know whether I will be able to forget my love who care for me so much and loved me like anything and made a lot of sacrifices for me.

1 Reply

@love2,

He also wants to be himself, travel. Is that not a fair thing? Should we "make" people do only what we want?

In an arranged marriage you may not have love.

I think he sees a future and later down the track, to spend on his house but now sees "with love" two people can have their own identity" yet, still be one.

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@love2,

Did you change yourself for him? In that case, it is best to remain true to yourself and not play to his desires.

Whoever he is then you two need to make an effort on compassionately accepting one another, or you two will be unhappy. And that's all there is to it.

Compassion is a term used to describe the removal of pain from someone.

1 Reply

@Osibos,

This thread's even older than the last one. Your advice is years too late.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

Newby trying to get into the swing?

1 Reply

@bobsal u1553115,

And some.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

Timing is not really important.

1 Reply

@Osibos,

I suppose that's one thing bollocks has over comedy.

2 Replies

@izzythepush,

Find your own timing.

0 Replies

@izzythepush,

Yeah Izzy: find your own timing.

1 Reply

@bobsal u1553115,

I think I saw some down the back of the sofa once.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

That was crisps, I et 'em already.

1 Reply

@bobsal u1553115,

Which reminds me of when Kevin Bridges was on a quiz show and he said the answer was thyme, like the crisps.

A boy love me a lot and I am confused about him

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