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why she has lied to me for so long about her cheating ?

 
 
pachuny
 
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 09:31 am
My girl and i have been dating for over 15 months now. A few days after we started to date, i confronted her about a long time guy friend (Steve) that she has. she told me that i can t ask her to talking to him because i dont have any prove that she is doing anything wrong, he is just a friend. 3 weeks after we started to date, they had a party over her sister house. The party was her sister husband bd party. i asked her if i could join her because she lived in the house but she told me that i could not show up because the party was being organized by her brother in law brother(Peter) and she thought that it was disrespectful to bring me over, this guy (peter) was trying to go out with him. we fought about it and i let it be.
Long story short, i told her that i hate cheaters and i have a job that can keep me away for months. i told her that if she ever wanted to cheat please let me know because it is something that i ve been fantasized about. i begged her to never lie to me and kept real with me. We had a fight weekly about the same long time friend (Steve not her brother in law brother), i asked her over if she never slept with him, she swore and cursed me out and told me no and no.13 months after we started to date while we are on vacation in the Caribbean she confessed that steve used to be her boyfriend 10 years ago and now they just do booty calls whenever that she is not dating someone but she kept denying that she has slept with with him while she is dating me. But last week, over 15 months since we started dating she has confessed again that the day she did not invite me over to that party, she accidentally cheated on me with Steve, she claimed that she went over his house to bring him some food but she ended ******* him and slept over his house. please guys let me what ya think, dis she really fucked him once and what else she could be lying about. This is a girl that i am very opened with, she got really upset when i ask her to cheat if i am away. I can deal with anything, as long that she does not lie. Please excuse my English, it is my secondary language.
Have a good day and thanks for reading my post
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 09:42 am
@pachuny,
She didn't accidentally cheat with anyone. His penis did not, oopsie, slip into her vagina.

Why has she lied?

Because she could.

You don't need any more proof or closure. Send her packing.
pachuny
 
  2  
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 09:46 am
@jespah,
Thank you
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 09:52 am
@pachuny,
She cheated, lied and fought with you about not ever happening. It's not worth it and she's not worthy. Case closed.

You're away in the Navy. Time to close that relationship off. There are better more honorable women and you don't need to be worrying over a LDR while you're away. Out of curiosity, did you ever cheat on her?
pachuny
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 10:00 am
@Ragman,
when i met her, i was 100% committed to her. i dont even talk to my females friend but once she told me that i can t stop her from talking to her friend. i started to out myself outhere and talked to my friends again. i stopped doing all the sacrifices that i used to dp. i stayed committed to her until now.
by the way, we are living together now and i m back home
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 10:04 am
@pachuny,
Dude, you are confusing with your info.

This is not a relationship anymore. If you're in it for a booty call, then so be it. You need to clear your mind and your heart of lying and a cheater and someone who can't admit the truth until it suits her. If that's what you want renting space in your head when you're away, good luck to you.
pachuny
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 10:09 am
@Ragman,
i am not init for a booty call. i stated that she has confessed that she used to have sex with the same friend that she swore of never slept with. she said that they just regular friends but when she is single, she used the guy fro booty call.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 10:12 am
@pachuny,
I'm not saying you are in it for a booty call, but she might be. And her word means little. Her behavior is what matters.

Didn't you write somewhere that she cheated on you when you were together...as an intimate couple, correct?

Bottom line is ... and all that matters...is she lied and cheated and fought with you over not having done it. Behavior patterns are hard to break. If that is what you want to tolerate, know that it can happen again ....with someone else or somewhere else.

I wish you good luck.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 10:33 am
@pachuny,
pachuny wrote:

....she accidentally cheated on me with Steve,...


She has cheated on you. How do you know for sure that she's stopped? She's also repeatedly lied to you. How do you know for sure that she's stopped?
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 11:28 am
I only got as far as you said that you a job that " takes me away for months."

WHY would you expect to have a relationship when you are not actually THERE? That is not fair to the other person.
pachuny
 
  0  
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 01:47 pm
@PUNKEY,
yes i understand but i ve been with her everyday for the last 16 months. i have not been away lately, and she cheated 3 weeks after we started to date.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Wed 28 Oct, 2015 02:05 pm
@pachuny,
So as I see it, you want us to tell you what you want to hear.
0 Replies
 
TheDirectApproach12
 
  0  
Reply Wed 4 Nov, 2015 07:21 am
@pachuny,
You having a job that takes you away for months is not unfair to her, it simply classifies your relationship as being long distance at times something that she knew walking in.

Your relationship is dishonest. My best advice is for you to leave before you become damaged. She is blatantly lying to you. You can accidently get run over by a bus not accidently have sex. Thats absurd. She planned that night thats why you werent invited. Her integrity is sub par and i can assure you this wasn't a one time thing. She is making her choice and its time you made yours. Wont be easy, certainly will hurt but think of your future. Get out before the scars get too deep.
0 Replies
 
Youthinkimdumb
 
  0  
Reply Tue 10 Nov, 2015 02:26 pm
@pachuny,
Cheating is no accident. Its a choice. A bad one, but a choice none the less. You can get up and put your clothes back on. You can leave...but the point is she didn't. And she lied over and over and over. You ask why she has lied to you for so long? Two words. SELF PRESERVATION. why did she cheat on you? Because SHE WANTED TO....she didn't think she would get caught. she thought she could lie her way out, why is she confessing now? Maybe she is actually growing to love you more than herself. I don't know....but simply she wanted to cheat, and she lied to you for so long because she did not want to pay for her deeds. Simple. Hugs, i am very sorry.
0 Replies
 
 

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