Thinking about someone else--Question for the guys

If I'm being honest, my answer is 'occasionally'.

Surely women do the same?

I hate to say it Kristie but this is a common male tendency. This is why guys enjoy porn. But for me, If I'm having steak I don't think about having chicken.

So it's true that if you're with your wife you might be thinking about having sex with say, Anna Kournikova? I mean, I think that women may fantasize that they are somewhere else but not with someone else. I could be wrong on that account though.

Could this explain saying another woman's name during sex?

Sorry, Kristie, but women DO fantasize about other men during sex sometimes. Oh yes we do! Even very happily married women!

Eva, oh.
Well, I don't but that 's why I said I could be wrong. On occasion, I have been wrong. :wink:

I am curious now to ask you Eva, why? To me it seems like that indicates you are not bring turned on by your sex partner. Isn't one of the points of having sex with your husband to be with him? Again, I could be wrong so please explain. This facinates me and it never occured to me that this was "normal".

One doesn't necessarily fantasize about a different REAL person- sometimes an imaginary 'idealized' partner might be involved. Or perhaps it is a physically altered fantasy version of your actual partner. Blonde instead of brunette, young and athletic instead of middle-aged, sun-tanned and slim instead of pale and chubby.

I think about dinner . . .

yeah, she's hot...

I voted "occasionally". Not often, not all the time - just occasionally, at some point in time during sex ...

Answer to the question "why?": because you can, I guess. All there's to it. Even if you're intensely involved in what you're doing and what you're feeling, your imagination always is at work to add elements and possibilities and everything we can think about ... involuntarily, I guess. Sometimes not: you're just all there, feeling every touch, every brush of the hand, every touching of lips, every move and every sensation of the skin. But like you said - sometimes your imagination adds the fantasy about being somewhere else - or in another situation ... you imagine delicate or daring variations of what you're doing right now, and it makes it all feel even better ... and sometimes, you add a person in the mix, even perhaps just besides your partner. I dunno ...

Not that I´ve had any in the past couple of months ...

Doesn't it bother anyone to think that perhaps mid-coitus your partner is thinking of someone else, during what you think is the hottest sex of your life?

If it was all the time it would bother me - but if it happened occasionally and turned them on - great

No.

Waste of mental space.

Who cares?

And more to the point, how do you know?

I'd prefer to assume it happens and not worry about it then wonder all the time and let it bother me.

This doesn't mean that people have to be obnoxious about it, of course, and like declare that they were thinking about someone else during the hot sex. But thinking -- not much you can or IMO should do about that.

Well, no there isn't much point in worrying cuz you can't control what is in someone elses head and I doubt many people would tell their partner "hey, that was great sex...the whole time thinking about Pam Anderson really made me hot!"

It just really made me curious to know if this is actually a fact. I mean, how much of what you read is really true?

Maybe I have a complex. Who knows. Just thought about this after reading that article and thought to myself "self, how true do you think that is?" and figured asking real guys was the only way to find out.

Inquiring mind wants to know.

Damn you're good Soz!

and of course that means i'll have to say i'm with Eva on this.

I'm surprised you haven't talked about this with any of your female friends Kristie. Lots of women fantasize about other partners while interacting with the IRL/in-the-room one. And if women do, why wouldn't men?

I guess I never thought about it....

I mean, I know women fantasize while alone but I've never done it with a partner and I never thought to ask anyone. It isn't like I'm 18 and new to this. Just never came up.

Yes, women do so!
Hi Kristie,
honestly, i fantasize about other men when my husband wants to do it. here are several reasons:
1) there is no excitement anymore, so thinking about something else brings in some excitement for me
2) of late, we have not tried anything new, so it has become more of an act
well, i guess these are the reasons. moreover i am to the point of getting dissatisfied with my sex life, and i do not have the energy to argue with my hubby about it. so even if sex is distasteful and boring, i have to get stimulated a little just so that my hubby doesn't sense that i am not turned on, and doesn't feel frustrated and argues with me.

Most of the time, during sex, I don't fantasize, but rather concentrate about the business at hand.