please help...ive never felt worse in my life

Oh, I am sorry, I didnt understand the whole situation completely...

But hey if you get back with this guy, any time the smallest things happens that he doesnt like, what will stop him from breaking up with you?

Maybe he broke up with you because he must have felt like he didnt have any control and now he has it all, every single little bit, even though you may feel that you contributed to the break up, there isnt a healthy balance anymore, and if you show him that this sort of this is acceptabe by being conducive to this situation, wanting to get back with him so badly, he will know that the best way of getting control in a situation is to dump you, leave you hanging for a couple of weeks, and then get back with you, it means the ball is completely in his park...

see if you do this once, what may prevent this sort of thing from happening again??

Basically its not fair on you, even though you felt you did wrong, i dont think what you did was a justified cause of breaking up with someone who he wanted to be engaged too...

Imagine being married to this guy? you have the smallest disagreement, like you wanting to hang out with some guy friends, and then what will he do, threaten to divorce you, give you the cold shoulder for a few weeks, lay the guilt trip on you soo thick

I realise know i dont know all the full details, but you just have to be sooo careful if you are getting back with him that its not all completely on his terms, because if it is that will develop a precedent for the future and you may end up with a very unbalanced and unhealthy relationship.

sorry i didnt give this info from the get-go...obviously i cant say everything that happened while we were dating, so i guess i just suck at picking out the most important details lol. in my defense, i did TRY to call a few times and even left him a message before i went out w/ the guy friend...he just never picked up the phone. at this point im stuck- usually its the guy that needs to come back to the girl, i HAVE made attempts to open communication, and he DID ask for space...on the other hand, i AM at fault, and i DO want him to know i havent given up on him...so im thinkin my text message will be, "hi mike, how are you? maria had her baby girl last thurs. thinking about you and wonderin if you got my letter." what do you guys think?

by the way, i just wanted to thank everyone for all their advice and for putting up w/ my whining/obsessing! means a lot!

If you're going to text, make it short and sweet and have a pretext for doing so. So the note you mentioned 2 posts up is fine.

Personally, I hate all of the communication options we have these days - they all seem to just be ways for people with relationship problems to either bug one another or to try to avoid talking to each other. But that's off-topic.

Anyway, I'm with lilly - I think the guy was looking for an excuse to end the relationship. Sheesh, I mean, one movie with one person? Unless there's more you aren't telling us, such as your ex being jealous of this guy, or you and the other guy being exes or something like that, well, your ex needs to grow up and realize that sometimes the women he goes out with can have good times away from him. And sometimes - horrors! - they can even be with other men, in a nonsexual manner.

I mean, you went to a movie, not a motel. Perhaps I'm more forgiving, but if I were him (and I'm a woman), I'd have no problem with it because it really wasn't a big deal.

Sometimes couples get into a fighting jag. It just seems like anything and everything gets on your nerves. Can your relationship stand it? If it can, fine. If it can't, well, better to know now.

I think it was a miscommunication thing, you tried contacting him and even sent him a message, what more can you do??

I think he chose not to pick up the phone, for some reasons, he would have received your message. what are you meant to do? sit around and wait for this guy so you can ask his permission to do things?

I think he isnt being nice, i wouldnt even send him a message now, you have tried enough, you have tried calling, writing letters, what more can you do??

Unless he is making you feel guilty as possible but thats been manipulating and coercive, and i would just leave him alone and wait for him to show you a little respect by atleast picking up the phone or writing a note back.

This guy isnt really worth it. If i had been with my guy for six months and i couldnt get a hold of him when i really needed to speak to him and there was no real reason as to why he wouldnt take my call, then it shows something about respect, and basically i think he wants his space but by doing so how much is he respecting your relationship?

right now there isnt a relationship. I would just let it go, because this seems to me to be a miscommunication, he didnt pick up his phone or read his messages and now thats your fault for going to a movie with a friend?

I would stay away from him, he isnt worth making you feel bad and guilty, which he probably does often, sure you may have been partially at fault but he needs to recognise that he is at fault also, so you guys can get over this, but he isnt doing that

so i suggest just moving on.

I'm 23 and was seriously thinking of gettin married. I think it really depends on how one was brought up. Some gotta be adults from a young age whereas others are still kids as adults.