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Dealing with unexpected cheating in a relationship

 
 
dqr47
 
Reply Mon 5 Oct, 2015 12:32 pm
Hey, so I am a 20 year old female and my boyfriend was 20 as well. We spent 6 months together and through that time we formed a bond that felt like it was unbreakable. We would talk everyday either texting or phone calls for long periods of time or we would hang out with eachother. He opened up to me about all his problems and i was always was there for him making sure to always be understanding and supportive. In the past he got cheated on by a girl he said he thought he was in love with. As our relationship progressed he told me that he had never loved someone as much as he loved me. This was all new to me and even though my love for him was real, i always doubted his love for some reason, but when i brought it up a couple of times he denied it. I always gave him his space and the great thing about our relationship was that the effort was always mutual. Come to find out through the time he was with me he cheated on me 4 times. He said that they were one time things and that he knows how wrong he was but he couldn't bring him self to understand why he did it either. He said that doing these things made him love me more because he realized how no one was like me. I feel so heart broken because i always put all my effort into him and remained loyal and always loved him to the best of my ability. How could he say that he loves me so much and do that to me? Its been a couple of days since this happened and I just don't know where to go from here. I did break up with him because i know i didn't do anything to deserve this. I also was already dealing with feelings of depression for a long time before this and this just really killed me inside. I just want to get other people's perspective on this and if anyone has any tips of where I go from here that would be helpful.
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Mon 5 Oct, 2015 01:08 pm
@dqr47,
dqr47 wrote:

... He said that doing these things made him love me more ...


I don't think we have to look any further for the Bullshit Statement of the Year Award.

I'm sorry; I really am. But this is, to quote Joe Biden, a load o' malarkey.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  4  
Reply Mon 5 Oct, 2015 01:36 pm
You have been with him 6 months and he has cheated on you 4 times? Even ONE time is incredible!

Girlfriend, this boy/guy is immature, a con and - yes - a B S expert.

Get away from him ASAP. (Most 20 year old BOYS are incapable of exclusive relationships)


0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  3  
Reply Mon 5 Oct, 2015 01:43 pm
@dqr47,
RUN, don't walk..away ...from this liar and serial cheater. You deserve better.
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  2  
Reply Mon 5 Oct, 2015 06:46 pm
@dqr47,
6 months in, most people are still in their honeymoon phase. To cheat during that phase speaks of either great flaws in his character, a lack of interest (ie. not love) in the relationship...or both.

As to his lying to you (even if he claims otherwise - his actions say it all) during this period, no possible reason for that is good.

Run.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Oct, 2015 08:48 am
@dqr47,
He cheats on you four times in 6 months and you really need help figuring out where to go from here? I would suggest you go anywhere as long as he is not there.

And I too just love his line about how cheating on you made him realize how much he loves you. It took him four times of cheating to realize it? Shouldn't he maybe have realized it after one time?

Dump him and let him play that game with someone else.
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  0  
Reply Wed 7 Oct, 2015 05:05 pm
@dqr47,
There are some 50-somethings that aren't much better.....
0 Replies
 
TheDirectApproach12
 
  1  
Reply Wed 4 Nov, 2015 11:09 am
@dqr47,
Your ages are irrelevant. He knows and understands that he was wrong. You all had a connection and you thought your were building something. Unfortunately, he violated your relationship and broke your trust. There are couples who are able to go on and rebuild but yours doesn't appear to be that relationship. He is unable to take responsibility for the decisions he's made. And you are battling depression. You need to be surrounded by people who support you and have your best interests at heart. Your former boyfriend made a selfish choice with no regard for you. You made the right choice to leave, take the time to heal and focus on your mental well-being.
0 Replies
 
 

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