my husband is using meth behind my back

Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2015 02:13 pm
I've caught my husband for the 4th time with meth. I haven't caught him in the act but what I've found is enough and he has admitted it to me. First time I caught him was in his text messages. He asked his friend if he had some "coffee". His friend answered him by sending him a picture of a big bag of meth. I called him out on it and he told me he was getting it for his deckhands...and one of his deckhands at the time was my brother. I blew up on him BC my brother is an addict and he has watched my family go through hell dealing with his addiction. I kind of knew he was lying about it and had a feeling that he was buying it for himself also. The next time I was cleaning out his work bag to wash his clothes and found a pipe that's used to smoke meth...I smashed it and blew up on him again. First of all it was in his bag which was in arms reach of our 2 small children. He admitted to using but told me he hasn't used in months. (which he lied about again BC I read his text he and he had used à week before that mothers day weekend). He told me he was sorry and promised he wouldn't use again BC he didnt want to lose his family he asked me to please trust him. I was also 31 weeks pregnant at the time and the stress put me into early labor 3 days later...thank god they were able to stop it and I was sent home on bed rest. I just recently caught him again in his text (I know I'm wrong for that but I have my trust issues w him). I went bring our oldest daughter to dance class. He stayed with our 5 year old and 2 month old. That night I went through his text and seen that he told a friend that I was gone and he can come bring his dope whenever. I havent said anything to him about it yet..but I'm pissed. He had our 2 kids here w him while he made that deal. I'm thinking about leaving him. He obviously doesn't care about losing his family that much. I also suspected he was on meth the week we took our new baby home. He's a good husband for the most part and a good father. But I can't deal with him using behind my back especially with him knowing what me and my family are going through with my brother being a drug addict and meth is one of the drugs that has taken over my brothers life. I dont want my kids around it and I don't want him to do something careless and stupid one day that will get ourkids taken away. I don't want the added stress. I need advice. He can tell me he'll quit as much as he wants but I'll never believe him BC he's done lied to me about it already. I think I may want a divorce. Is that what's best for me and my kids?
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2015 02:21 pm
I'm curious why you allowed your children to stay in the house with him after the first discovery, let alone why you stayed.

I can't see any upside to it. You're staying with a meth user and liar. What will your children learn from that?

I think it's past time for you to at least get the children out of the home.
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2015 02:27 pm
BC I tried to trust that'd he'd stop. And he's a good husband for the most part and father...besides the fact that he uses. But now in have no reason to trust him and I don't think I will ever again. I want to make him leave bc I don't want to take my kids out of their home. And I have no place else to go but my moms and my brother lives there and I'd be bringing them back around another user.
Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2015 02:30 pm
I agree with Beth. Meth addiction is a big deal. It is dangerous for you and it is dangerous for the children.

Move out now! Get yourself and you children to safety. Your husband needs to get into treatment... that is the only way that his meth use will stop.

When you move out, you probably are doing the best thing for your husband. An addict needs to be in a place where they need to make a decision. Meth is really bad news, it is a death sentence. The sooner he is at this place where he has to choose, the better chance that he will get over it.

Meth addictions only get worse. As his addiction progresses he will become a worse and worse husband and father. As the drug takes over he will become less responsible and more desperate and dangerous.

I would not consider being with him until he was doing well in a treatment program.

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Reply Sat 3 Oct, 2015 02:51 pm
If you want him to leave, get yourself to a lawyer asap to find out what steps you need to take.

I personally wouldn't stay in a house with a meth user, especially with children. I'd have been gone the first time.
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Reply Sun 4 Oct, 2015 09:55 am
For ME, drugs would be an instant deal breaker. But, I'm not you and he's not my husband.
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Reply Sun 4 Oct, 2015 05:14 pm
NO - he's NOT a good father and husband. Stop lying to yourself.

'I dont want my kids around it"

This is a safety issue now. Your children could be removed from the home if someone reports this kind of drug use in the home.

First, see a lawyer and be sure you have support for you and the kids.
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Reply Tue 6 Oct, 2015 09:32 am
If you are not a user, then leave with the kids ASAP. Meth is a killer and soon he will be as one. If you are using yourself too, place your kids with goods hands e.g. by your parents or relatives. If that is not possible contact your local social authorities and tell them the situation as it is.

You are living under a timebomb now...Good luck!
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