Thu 1 Oct, 2015 08:50 pm
I am a 14 year old boy starting 8th grade. I like this girl and I wonder if she likes me back and what I should do. 8th grade just started less than one month ago, and I just turned 14 a few days ago. My crush is also a september birthday, but she is around 2 weeks older. I have had a crush on her since perhaps 5th grade, but my timeline is not very good. I remember events well, but not dates.
Well anyways, in 5th grade she sat next to me, and it was quite fun. We would talk and joke together. One thing we would do is steal each other's pencils, and return them at the same time so nobody keeps the other person's pencil. We would also jokingly tease each other and laugh. I'm not sure if this makes me just a friend, or if it qualifies as flirting of sorts for younger kids. As our teacher put it to my parents, we "poked each other in the ribs". of course though, not literally. We are both fairly smart (but I get better grades) and we often competed with each other in math. We would tease if someone got the wrong answer and whatnot. Now however, we are not in the same math class (morning classes) but are in the same afternoon class.
A memory I have of her is from 5th/6th grade. She was sitting near me, at the back of the classroom. Her chair was pushed back, so her legs weren't under the desk. Since her desk was near the back, it was close to the window. I remember that it was a sunny day, and sunlight was pouring into the classroom. I loved the way the sunshine sparkled in her hair and I just stared at her, most likely not to her knowledge.
Last year, when we were in the same morning classes, she would literally go across the room to check answers on the math homework with me, even though her friends were all with her. Either she thinks I am extremely smart, or she is looking for an excuse to talk/be with me.
Now sometimes, when she walks past me in the hall or somewhere, she will greet me and smile, then wait for a reply. To my knowledge, I don't think she does this to anybody else. Recently she walked by me and said, "Hey," although I didn't reply, because, well... I'm shy. Then she said "Aren't you going to reply?" Or something along those lines. I then said "Uh... Hola."
Now to explain, I'm actually quite shy, although open to my friends. When with people I know well, I joke alot and seem quite different. When alone I usually keep my lips pressed together and I don't talk much except after the awkward "how are you doing" from a teacher, which I respond with either "uh... good," or "uh... okay?" I am also self-conscious, which may be why I am shy. I just try to imagine different situations, and although it could go well, it is more likely to end up awkward. Yes, I use the word awkward a lot, just because that is how I would describe it.
Anyways we both attend orchestra, I play the Violin and she plays the Cello. Last year in 7th grade (Around 4 months ago) there was an orchestra concert at our school. I wore a white collared shirt and very dark blue/gray pants. To this outfit she commented: "really? jeans?" This might not be strane, but her little brother (who also plays the cello) was wearing much lighter colored pants and I didn't hear a comment on that. In addition, an 8th girl was actually wearing jeans and... no comment. This means that she was not actually making fun of what aI was wearing, but simply using it as an excuse to talk to me, not actually insult me. This is similar to the light-hearted teasing from when we were younger. She also criticizes
my violin playing, and only me, which is peculiar because I am one of the better violin players in the orchestra.
However I don't have her phone number and I don't even have a phone. Instead I have an Ipod which can text but only using the app Imessage, but it could be awkward to ask for her number.
I sometimes imagine me telling her about my feelings, but I am not sure how. I daren't ask her friends because they might tell her, and if she doesn't like me back... then it could be awkward.
I imagine it at another orchestra concert, where if there is some joking or teasing, I could tease back and give a small playful shove if it is alright. This would break the physical touch barrier, and could open up new doors. If she seems to be okay, I would stop walking and depending on her reaction, we could both lean in and kiss.
Then again, maybe I should wait until High School.
Recently we have been talking less, but that might be because we are in different morning classes or I am sending the signal that I don't like her because of how shy I am.
But does she like me?
What happened 3 years ago doesn't matter. What happened 4 months ago matters more, but not as much as what's going on now.
Ask for her number. Explain the app/ipod situation. Or borrow a phone to call her briefly, even if it's just to say hi. And then ask to see her after school, like to get a soda. Or just ask while in school!
You are overthinking this, big time. The only relevancy here is that you are two teens who are cordial with each other. All the other details, about how her hair looked, or if you were teased for wearing jeans one time? Those are superfluous.
While you're at it, maybe Google Ockham's Razor
and you'll understand what I'm talking about a little more.
Si - you are going to have to make a decision: either get up the courage to actually talk to this girl and get her phone number, or fade away.
Do you want to miss out? I think not. So ---- stop telling yourself you are "shy" and do one act per week that puts you closer to this girl.
We are talking FRIENDS now, not marriage or anything so serious.
DUDE, you are fourteen! You won't be stable in your emotions for years and neither will she. If you are seeking to make a serious impression, write her a serious
letter and deliver it personally, saying it is a serious letter. Years from now she may remember you for that.
Listen, I'm a girl, and she's probably insulting you because she's trying to cover up the fact that she's crushing on you. It sounds like she does like you, and she's just waiting for you to speak up and tell her you like her back.
I can help you! I am a teen girl around your age, and from what this story tells, it sounds like she definitely likes you. I feel like she's trying to stay in touch with you and not let you fall away because of what good friends you were in fifth grade. And honestly, almost any girl in the world (including me) is just waiting for a guy to tell us they like us or that we're pretty or anything close to that. Even if us girls aren't necessarily attracted to the other person, we appreciate their bravery and open honesty about how they feel. If she really does like you, (and from everything I've heard, there's like a 90% chance that she does) then she'll keep the situation from being awkward.
About the "leaning in for a kiss", I, personally, would feel pretty violated. I'd want to hang out with the guy and become best friends- and go on a few dates- before he tried anything like that. But that's just me. I feel like you need to get to know her better before you go into that stage of a relationship.
Hope this helped
if you have any other questions, you can ask me.