Is this rebound relationship

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I was in a relationship with someone for 8years. It was wearing off and somewhere I didn't feel it was perfect. The guy had a fling in the 6th year while we were in long distance but refused to acknowledge or accept the gravity of it when confronted. We were also incompatible in several ways but I always felt I had no choice as I was committed. Then I started liking a close friend and before realizing, we were addicted to each other. I consulted friends and family and they all suggested breaking up. I am currently going through the break up and I like this new guy. He understands and accepts everything and allows me time, space and never forced me. Is getting into a relationship with him equivalent to a rebound relationship? I agree I am yet to get over the previous completely and I know it will take time and things wont be same as before

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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 661 • Replies: 9

[+3] - PUNKEY - 10/01/2015Ideally, one should take time and re-coup. Figure out what went wrong, figure out what kind of man you want in the future, figure out your destructive role in the relationship and how you can...

@Abhirupa,

Why not ignore the term and stop trying to define it. If you like this guy, he's being patient and you are being patient with yourself then all is well. Keep having open discussions with him.That is what matters.

Are you not over being hurt or not over still loving your ex?

That previous relationship caused you much pain..so there's no going back. You're not a masochist..so focus on this new love.

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Ideally, one should take time and re-coup. Figure out what went wrong, figure out what kind of man you want in the future, figure out your destructive role in the relationship and how you can .better yourself, get yourself finanically and emotionally ready for the future - BEFORE jumping into another relationship.

But love isn't always on time . . .

So - go SLOWLY into this new thing, now a wiser woman.

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Love isn't always on time ...

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@Abhirupa,

I always worry about relationships that start before another has ended. Yours may be different, but sometimes taking a breather in between in the best thing for you and everyone else involved. It's not a legal requirement that you be in a relationship! Smile

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@Ragman,

Thanks Ragman. Its just that we had so many plans and we were really really attached for a long time. That's what happen in genuine relationships I guess.
But the guilt of ditching someone is just too much to take and also because even if I wanted to initially,, I know it wouldl be difficult to survive this relationship lifetime.

Letting go is so difficult.

At the same time, I really don't wanna go wrong this time. I have asked for space and am giving myself that as well. Just that everywhere, people keep talking about rebound stuff. This isn't rebound, I know coz I fell out of something I held onto despite all odds and that was becoz I like someone so much.

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@PUNKEY,

Yes, I understand. I have to go slow this time and I am giving myself time to mourn as well as instrospect.

The matter of fact is this new person really likes me and I like him as well which is why I couldn't hold on to the other one and even if I did, it would have turned out to be messy.

I am not again ready to lose someone but I like this person enough to not take it forward. I have been evaluating as I see so many forums writing about the need to be with someone because you feel the space.

But this new person has already taken space before we realized what it was heading to.. There were loopholes in the other one, I realize which is why this did ever happen

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@Date2Relate,

I don't know if its different. The other one was my first relationships. The problem as I said is that I like this new person enough to let him go as well just because 'rebound' stuff is difficult

I know its not mandatory to be in a relationship. But this new person had already taken the space that was there.. And before we realized what it was heading onto, we were in a coup. I stil couldnt imagine that I could give up my commitment until my close-ones told me that it was over for long.. The vaccum that was building up in the other one due to too long a time or wearing off, I guess.

Its destiny, I guess. I allow myself space.. Long periods of being away to understand what went wrong.

Its just that the new person is precious enough to let him be away or to go wrong in anyway..

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@Abhirupa,

Sounds like you need to spend some time on your own.

If this new person is such a great match for you, they'll still be there in a year or two.

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@Abhirupa,

I'm big on the whole dopamine phase of any relationship. He's filling the needs that you lacked for a very long time. I wouldn't call it a rebound but you may not be ready for the relationship. If you like him then just see where it goes. Just be open and communicate.

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Is this rebound relationship

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