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How to convince my wife?

 
 
Reply Wed 30 Sep, 2015 12:05 pm

First off... I hope this doesn't come off like some kind of dick post.. or repeated post as I've read a little similar post here just recently. It's not intended to be at all.

My wife and I have been married for just over 8 years now, together for 14. I'd say we have a pretty awesome relationship - we're best friends basically. We occasionally have a disagreement, but these are really rare. We are financially stable, we always got time for our kids and ourselves despite the hectic schedule. we go on a date atleast 2x/ a week, i.e. a breakfast before going to work or late fancy dinner without the kids.

Either way.. let's talk about my matter at hand. I wish my wife would wear sexy lingerie a little more often. Maybe once in 3 months she will surprise me and she'll put on a tedy or a babydoll that I've picked up for her over the years but those times that she surprised mostly comes with an occasion OR If she ever wear Lingerie with no occasion or out of nothing, that is because of my request or I begged. I've been doing a lot of things for her like backrubs, massage, wash the dishes and I cook for her and the kids daily because I'm the better cook compared to her. Most of the time the subject is just never broached.
we are at our early 30's, with 2 kids, we are not perfect physically but we are fit and are not overweight. So there's no body issues or self confidence probs.

She knows I love lingerie - I'm a sucker for thongs, strings, lace and pair it up with stockings and heels then I'll be in heaven! I'm the type of guy that like to slowly remove the clothing while making love, or I like to have sex with semi naked, a little shirt on or undies on the knees or half of the bra off, skirt up, string pulled etc..

Of course I've mentioned my affinity for lingerie before and I've bought her countless items - I used to buy her some lingerie for every holiday, on top of any other gifts I'd get her. In recognition also, she's bought thongs and strings by herself in which she never/rarely did during our early stages together (includes dating years).
The times she wears Lingerie, are times when we are about to have sex, say we go on a date, she will wear something nice but will just wear regular undies, not the granny type but not thong or strings, then when we go back to our room or say hotel if we are on a vacation, she'll undress and wear the thongs/strings. I mean why not wear it along with the nice sexy dress?
I've told her that if one night we went out she wore a dress or skirt and gave me a surprise peek of stockings and a garter belt underneath, I'd probably lose it right on the spot. Still nothing. Another time we were at the mall and I whispered to her to go pick out some shoes that she thought might be appropriate for the bedroom - We had fun picking them out but she's worn them maybe two or three times in a year.
We have talked about this multiple times, I've even pointed out to her about her co-workers, my co workers wearing thong (in a candid way of course) and her reply is that she's aware of it and that scrub suite really matches well with thongs but she does not want her patients attention on her in which I totally agree. so it is not like she does not want to wear thongs coz she does, like when she exercise in our mini gym at our basement she wears thongs (not all the time) not that frequent and also she make sure that if she wears thongs/strings it is not visible to someone like jeans and strings. Like the other day, when we gave the kids a ride to school, she was wearing leggings but she put a skirt on top (IDK how to describe it specifically) then when I dropped her back at home, when she went out of the car, I playfully squeeze her but then I noticed she was wearing a thong then I told her how sexy she was and I appreciate it then I told her that I was so turn on, but she just dismissed me and told me, later because we were running late, I pretended to took of while she went inside the house then when I went inside to catch her, she already changed undies, although we end up having a quickie, same situation occurred. Most of the time I get a reasoning, why wear it when it'll be removed anyways.

I am hoping that a women especially wives can tell me about their opinions on lingerie or thongs and how they feel if they are wearing thongs that are clearly visible say white skirt and black thong? Does your husband prevent you or will tell you it's to obvious? for me, while it's a big turn for guys to look at my wife, there's also a little conservative side in me that will tell her it's too much but it does not happen and my request for her to wear thongs happens mostly at nights, on a movie date, late night dinner at a fancy restaurants with rich guys, some olds with younger wife or GF's that got far more revealing items than my request to my wife so for sure it'll be just normal for those guys and no high testosterone teens around or there's only few of them.

Believe me, this isn't a make it or break it type of issue. It would just be the sprinkles on top of an already ginormous, delicious, hot fudge sundae. I'm sure I missed a few points, but I think you all get the general idea.

Any ideas, or am I just SOL?
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Wed 30 Sep, 2015 12:48 pm
@vinzanity10,
Have you asked her what you could do/wear that might inspire her to dress the way you'd like?

Everyone is so different about what they like, what turns them on ... it's hard to comment.

I have a friend whose husband absolutely hated it when she wore anything lingerie-like. His sexual interest was totally turned off by it, to the point that she was worried about their marriage. They had to talk about what turned him on, what turned her on ... and how they were going to make their very different preferences work together.
vinzanity10
 
  1  
Reply Wed 30 Sep, 2015 01:01 pm
@ehBeth,
thanks for the reply,

Yup, I asked my wife's preferences also, I used to hate boxers or colored brief or boxers, I only had white underwear before but since she told me she gets turned on when I'm using colored boxers or brief then I never bought white underwear anymore, I don't even have 1 in my closet. Now I'm so comfortable wearing colored underwear.
about your friend, is the wife willing, does she have collections? good God the husband is lucky! hope they are still together and happy!
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Wed 30 Sep, 2015 01:08 pm
@vinzanity10,
My friend gave up all of her lingerie as her husband hated it. They had a few shaky years til the lingerie issue was figured out. They're happy now.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Wed 30 Sep, 2015 04:03 pm
Vinz

Why ALL the time (you want wife to wear sexy underwear)? How can it ever be "special"?

BTW - Are you being turned on by your co-workers who wear thongs? (I'm having trouble figuring out your post)

vinzanity10
 
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Reply Thu 1 Oct, 2015 08:28 am
@PUNKEY,
I'm not hoping all the time, I'm just hoping she wears it more frequently especially when she knows that we'll end up having sex.
Each Every sex or making love with my wife is special, my analogy is like receiving a gift, you know the thing/gift you'll receive will be special yet the giver will still wrap it with something nice.
vinzanity10
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Oct, 2015 09:34 am
@PUNKEY,
about the co workers? I'm not turned on but I admire their style. I mentioned it in candid way. Also me and my wife had a conversation about hers and my co workers because she was the first one to mention it and I only emphasized to her that for some, thongs and strings are a daily thing plus when you are in the operating room, female doctors, nurses and other female staff esp. those on a 48 hr shift finds it comfortable to wear thongs.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Oct, 2015 09:43 am
@vinzanity10,
vinzanity10 wrote:
and I only emphasized to her that for some, thongs and strings are a daily thing plus when you are in the operating room, female doctors, nurses and other female staff esp. those on a 48 hr shift finds it comfortable to wear thongs.


and I'll only emphasize to you that for many women thongs/strings/bikinis are never comfortable

it's not something you can adjust to. they're either comfortable or they're not. it's not like wearing something in a different colour.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Oct, 2015 09:45 am
@vinzanity10,
vinzanity10 wrote:
especially when she knows that we'll end up having sex.


are you sure that she wants to have sex with you more often?
vinzanity10
 
  1  
Reply Thu 1 Oct, 2015 11:27 am
@ehBeth,
YUP, very sure! know why? we make love almost everyday, and my Saturday Night was supposedly my Basketball Schedule with friends but she talked to me about making it our date and rendezvous night, so for the past 6 years, my wife has always been the one arranging for a baby sitter, selecting restaurant and picking movies every Saturday night (except when w are on vacation or out of town) may I add also that there are times that she books hotel after our date night (her mom works in Hilton hotel so we get friends and family discount say we just pay $30 a night includes breakfast the next day) so if that's any indication of her not wanting to have sex then I don't know
what else?
again my issue here is not about lack of sex, lack of desire or poor performance but the lack of visual creativity or visual seduction.

about the comfort? I know it is a matter of preference but I am only asking my wife to wear it on our dates.
also what's being uncomfortable about me asking her to wear chemise instead of PJ's when she sleeps?

0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
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Reply Sun 4 Oct, 2015 10:05 am
My late husband enjoyed sexy lingerie. He liked me to wear it while cleaning. I always thought it was sort of silly, but it pleased him so I did it. It wasn't like he was asking me to climb Mt. Everest.
0 Replies
 
Anonj321
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Dec, 2015 10:09 pm
I love wearing lingerie. I love putting on stocking & heels. I wear sexy thongs or lacey underwear daily. But I'm comfortable in it. I have many lingerie sets.. But I would like to add that I don't care for sex. And I barely ever wear them during sex.. Because that would insinuate that sex is planned. However, I wear them for myself & to feel good.. If I end up in the mood to have sex, then great.
Honestly, if she hasn't changed anything by now then she probably won't. Or she will but it will fade out fast. Can't have everything you want in life, unfortunately.
0 Replies
 
 

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