3
   

my friends are accusing me for flirting

 
 
kelly20
 
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 07:49 am
hi
i'm a 20 years old girl, my problem is that last year i was accused by my friends that i like one of my classemates, the thing is i've never felt any thing towards him, and i've never considered him more than a friend and i respect him a lot, yet my friends didn't believe me and kept on bulliyng me. now at my second year i found my self at the same classe with " that guy " and one of my friends and the bullying started all over again. what i afraid is what if they started talking about that thing to others or what if thay went and told him, i don't want to be embarresed and spent what remains of my college being accused and bullied this way.
what i'm i to do .... please advice me and thank you Smile
 
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 07:58 am
@kelly20,
Are you sure you and your friends aren't 10 or 12 years old?
Quote:
kept on bulliyng me.

They can lay off it now. Not necessary, even if they see a real connection that you and this third party might actually have that you yourself are missing.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 08:02 am
@kelly20,
Are you sure those people are your friends?

It doesn't really sound that way.

Tell them to stop talking about you and find new friends.

Really. Friends don't behave like that.
0 Replies
 
Real Music
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 10:17 am
@kelly20,
First question to you is what are you doing to cause your friends to believe that you are flirting with this guy? Is it your body language? Is it your demeanor around him? Is it the way you look at him? Is it the way you laugh at his jokes? Is it the way you hold hands? There can be all kinds of reasons your friends might think you are flirting with this guy. The bigger question is does this guy think you are flirting with him? If you answer no. How do you really know? He, just like your friends, might think you are flirting with him. It's all based on what kind of signals you are sending off. Sometimes a person can be sending off signals without knowing that they are sending off signals. This guy just might really like you and hope to some day be your boyfriend.
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 10:34 am
@Real Music,
So what? She knows she is not actually flirting.

Your "friends" seem on the stupid side. They do sound about ten or twelve years old. Ignore them, find new ones. You must be reacting to them and they like to push your buttons. Have some self esteem.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 10:39 am
@Real Music,
Does any of that matter? none of that excuses her "friends" behaviours.
Real Music
 
  0  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 10:57 am
@ossobuco,
Maybe what the so-call friends think is not important, but what about what the guy is thinking. This guy is her friend. First of all, do we really know what this guy is thinking. I have known guys who thought they were getting a signal to be more than friends when the girl only wanted to be friends. For the guy that can be a real let down because he thought she was really into him. She and this guy are good friends. This is just something to think about.
0 Replies
 
Real Music
 
  0  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 11:05 am
@ehBeth,
The so-call friends are not the only concerns. What may be in the mind of this guy who is her good friend is a concern
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 11:08 am
@Real Music,
He is only a problem if her idiot friends talked to him.
Real Music
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 11:23 am
@ehBeth,
I am not referring to her friends talking to him. I am talking about her friend thinking she is flirting with him based soley on her signals. He might be getting the wrong unintended signals from her. The worst thing for a guy to hear from a girl who he is really into is we are just friends. The statement we are just friends is like a kick in the stomach to a guy who is falling for a woman. Again, do we really know what this guy who is her friend is thinking. What signals is her friend receiving?
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 11:31 am
@Real Music,
If he is interested in her, he should say something so she can decide what she wants to do.

If he's not good at reading signals, he can improve his body language reading skills.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 11:32 am
@Real Music,
Real Music wrote:
The worst thing for a guy to hear from a girl who he is really into is we are just friends.


Actually that's a good thing for him to hear - so he can smarten up and consider a woman who might be interested in him. Better to know if someone's interested than to guess.

Communication.

It's a good thing.
Real Music
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 11:42 am
@ehBeth,
I agree with you. If he is into her he should open his mouth and say so, before another guy swoops in. As far as body language is concern, that is an art. It is a skill. The most skillful reader of body language can sometimes get it wrong. It still takes two people to communicate body language. One to send and one to receive.
0 Replies
 
Real Music
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 11:51 am
@ehBeth,
I agree that communicating that we are just friends is a good thing when it is done early in a relationship. Otherwise that can be crushing.
0 Replies
 
 

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