I want to write a letter to my ex but idk how to word it

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Things ended really really badly. (i went completely psycho...lying about things i knew i shouldnt have lied about). but i did it and i am suffering the consequences. However, one thing i didnt lie about was his baby. He got me pregnant and he doesnt believe me based on the other lie which is 100% understandable. I got an abortion (he made me believe that i wasnt capable of having a kid at this age, were both 20, i am not proud of how i let him get into my head) he doesnt know that i had an abortion because he cut me out of his life. ie blocking me on social media, my phone number and basically anything that i could contact him with.

I would like to send him an email telling him that i didnt lie about his baby and how he put me in the hospital (he bullied me to the point that i went hysterical and wanted to end my life, this was the night he made me believe i wasnt capable of having his kid) i would like to say goodbye to him. i dont want to slam him and cuss him out but i dont want it to say that i want him back because i dont. I just want him to know the truth and to say goodbye and i dont expect a response back. I would appreciate it if he would read it but im not too sure he would tbh.

Maybe i should use the "email into the future" website so i can say what i want to say now but he receives it in a few months time when things have cooled down a bit and so i would be able to move on from this whole thing now? but idk how to start it or write it.

We were in a relationship for almost 2 years and this boy meant a lot to me and i am still shocked and hurt that he was capable of doing this to me. (he broke up with me because he said he was going to blame me if he didnt get into medical school and that he did not care who he cut out of his life as long as he becomes an important person... whatever tf that means),

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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 776 • Replies: 10

@camcam132,

Here is what I think you need to do. Sit down and write the letter from your heart. Apologize for those things you feel you did wrong but also make sure you tell him how he made you feel. Sign the letter, put it in an envelope, seal it and then burn it.

You will feel better for having gotten things off your chest. And personally, anyone who says something along the lines of " he did not care who he cut out of his life as long as he becomes an important person" isn't going to care one whit whether you apologize or not. (From what you wrote, I don't really think you owe him an apology. Neither one of you handled things as well as you could have.)

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I agree with CoastalRat. Write it and burn it. At 20 neither of you were capable of having such an intense relationship. Too young.

I doubt if this guy would be affected by any kind of letter you would write - clearly he does not care about your feelings.

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@CoastalRat,

Agree 100% with coastal rat. There is nothing you are going to gain by actually contacting this person. If he is as you described, then if he does at all respond it isn't going to be postive for you.

You are best to wash yourself clean of this person and move on. Use it as a learning experience. The one positive is you learned that you did not handle things well.

If it still festers in you - you might want to get a little counseling or someone not involved to speak with.

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@Linkat,

So you dont think writing a short letter and giving it to him in a few weeks, whenever i see him in school, is a good idea? i just want to tell him how i feel. (i do not want him back). and i wouldn't be slamming him or anything.

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@camcam132,

Personally no I don't think so. I do not see anything to gain from it at all.

I think coastalrat had a good thought - to write it and then burn it. That way you get your thoughts out - but to give him an apology or anything - why?

Just letting go would be better.

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@Linkat,

I wrote everything down and threw it out but i still feel very unsettled with everything. idk i feel guilty to how i made him feel when i lied to him.

ive accepted the breakup and that there is no way in hell that we would ever get back together but i just feel guilty. and idk i dont like having people hate me so much knowing that i was the one who caused it.

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@camcam132,

You don't owe them an explanation. You don't owe him one, either.

All a letter will do is become social media fodder.

Don't do it.

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@jespah,

Yeah, i guess its his loss.. :/ Ill see how i feel about this in a few months after i receive counselling.

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@camcam132,

Hello,

I think Jespah makes a good point, and so do the others. If that first letter wasn't enough to resolve your own sorrows and heartache about this situation, by all means, do NOT try to contact this man with any kind of written communication, particularly not of the digital kind.
It seems that he has no desire to talk to you. Respect that, and don't contact him. Respect yourself, and don't give him anything that he can use as social media fodder against you either.

Without coming down on either side in this discussion, as both parties seem to have reacted poorly, try to look at this situation from his point of view:

The last thing he seems to know is that you ended a two year long relationship by going psycho on him. He has clearly cut you out of his life. Odds are good he will not be pleased to see you, regardless what message you want to convey to him. Given your last comment about what he said to you, he doesn't seem above being emotionally cruel himself.
So I figure he might very well lash out at you, and only wound you deeper. And you'll wind up feeling even worse about this situation.

Just don't go there. So, to reiterate: Respect his desire not to get in touch with you, and far more importantly, respect your own self worth. He's not worth wasting anymore thoughts on. Move on to greener pastures.

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@camcam132,

Quote:

I would like to send him an email telling him that i didnt lie about his baby and how he put me in the hospital (he bullied me to the point that i went hysterical and wanted to end my life, this was the night he made me believe i wasnt capable of having his kid) i would like to say goodbye to him. i dont want to slam him and cuss him out.

Ya you do, you want to resume your bitch act, this time taking the label of victim. Dont do it. Just leave the guy alone.

Quote:

and i am still shocked and hurt that he was capable of doing this to me. (he broke up with me because he said he was going to blame me if he didnt get into medical school and that he did not care who he cut out of his life as long as he becomes an important person... whatever tf that means),

He had different priorities than you. THat is life, and that does not make you a victim. He did nothing wrong here, leave him alone.

Quote:

He got me pregnant

Bullshit, unless he raped you you got yourself pregnant. Take responsibility for your failures, not blame others for them. Leave this guy alone.

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I want to write a letter to my ex but idk how to word it

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