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Wed 26 Aug, 2015 05:53 pm
We grew up together as children and into our teens. We went through grade school through HS together, never once back then did I ever consider him anything but a friend.
It had been about 15 years since we last had seen one another and due to a mutual childhood friend we reconnected again. Quick friendly wow you look amazing kind of thing. We began texting and That's how it all started. That was a year and half ago I am divorce single with a son that is 21 and he is married with a son 11. We still live in the same town and still have mutual friends.
We sometimes use our mutual love for hardcore/punk rock music as an excuse to get out to spend together. That was where we reconnected at a local show.
But things are a roller coaster. He has never made me believe he will leave his wife for me and I've been very content with that til recently I have many emotions.
We see one another usually every other week sometimes more pending on his ability to make an excuse to his wife. The sex is absolutely heart stoppingly intensly taboo. We have such passion and desire for one another I am high after I see him for days. He makes me feel incredibly sexy and desired and that makes me want him more.
It's been a roller coaster ride for sure over the last year and half and right when I thought I was mentally and emotionally in a good place he threw me a curve ball. He tell me while we were on the phone one night very late and he was definitely drinking, that he loved me. I responded by telling him the same. Ever since then it's been hard, he's been retracting and weird. We have seen each other a week after and for the first time sex was strange, I didn't like it.
Since then I had told him I didn't want things to change between us and wanted things just as they have been. He was happy to hear that I didn't expect or want anything as a result of his drunken rant.
But I feel like now I'm just hiding my emotions from him, I ignore them, I don't know how to feel or what to do.
I could end things but i don't know if I can or how to, I am addicted to him. He's like a drug to me, how do I cope???
@NJMelissaG,
There are plenty of ways to cope. Just as examples:
- stop seeing him
- find a hobby
- visit friends
- keep busy
- see other men (you are single, he's not)
- go on holidays
- join a club
- read books
Really, the list is endless, and it all involves...something other than him.
@NJMelissaG,
Why don't you ask his wife how you should end things with him. I'm sure she will have some ideas.
I have just found out my husband had an affair - looking for forums of support and found this.
He is the one with the responsibility to his family not you. But how on earth can you feel special with someone who is clearly using you for sex while possibly going through a tough time in his marriage. He was different after feelings were discussed - does this not make you feel cheap and dirty?
To go along and be happy to be with someone who is married and not expecting a relationship makes you a horrible human being. What would your son think of your behaviour? What kind of example are you trying to set?
Instead of thinking of your feelings try googling what infidelity does to be victim. You are selfish.
@vikorr,
You're having an affair with a married man? And you expect sympathy??? Really??? Could you be the woman my husband is having an affair with? Probably not. But YOU ARE the other woman who is in the process of breaking up a marriage aren't you????? Well done you!
@LoveCollette,
Why are you accusing vikorr of having an affair? Try reading what he said.
@ossobuco,
I'm guessing she doesn't post on forums like this much, and meant to reply to the Original Poster.
@vikorr,
Thank you Vikorr. I was posting from a tablet yesterday and I'm still getting used to it...My post was directed at the OP.
You're smart enough to make the right assumption.
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