Long term boyfriend isn't invited to my family gatherings anymore

Hi,

This is going to be a long post, so I went and made a short version for you to read :-) If you're interested in helping me out, you can read the long version as well. Thanks a lot!

Short version:
My boyfriend doesn't get invited to my family events anymore since we broke up and got back together again 2 years ago. They knew about some details and they were angry at him for what happened and still don't forgive him or don't believe he's changed (I do know now that I never should've told my family about this). This is combined with a minor argument he had shortly after we got back together with a family member of mine, but both don't want to apologise for it and my family member doesn't want to even speak to him again unless he apologises (something he won't do and I won't force him to because I get both sides and also think it's childish to demand an apology with the ultimatum of not speaking and therefore not inviting someone anymore. If you knew what it was about, you would agree that it's just plain stupid and stubborn).


Long version:
I'm a 21 yo girl (living in a small country in Europe) and in an almost 7 year relationship with my boyfriend. Because I'm still studying in medschool we don't have the financial possibilities to move in together yet. But if it were us, we would be long living together and happily married by now :-)

We did however have some major issues in the past and even broke up for a short period, more than 2 years ago. We both made mistakes, but we learned A LOT from that and I can honestly say that we won't ever make them again. It made us stronger than ever as a couple. At the time, I confided in my family about my (at that moment: 'ex')relationship problems. Another mistake I'll never make again, because long after me and my boyfriend decided to work things out, my family still won't approve. Even though they liked him in the years before, they now think he's a terrible person who doesn't treat me right.
On top of that, shortly after we were back together again, a family member had a small argument with him, and that stupid thing is still the reason why he doesn't get invited to family gatherings AT THIS DAY. I was in the room at the time of that argument and I really get both sides, so I definitely didn't want to pick one. Both my boyfriend and family member don't wish to apologise for what they said and they don't want to speak or (in the case of my family member) even SEE him again. As a result, that family member managed to exclude him from all further family events. (even though the other family members wouldn't mind).

I've had some major arguments about that with my entire family a few months back, one where my mother was on my side, for once, and she even didn't want to see her own family again for what they did to me and my boyfriend (which is: don't invite him because 1(!) person has a problem with him, and on my 21st birthday my family went to dinner without me because they knew I wanted to have my boyfriend with me and they didn't want to see him. They never even spoke to me about this, they simply announced that they were going without me, my boyfriend and even my mom). She doesn't like my boyfriend very much either, but at least she respects my decision and thinks it was very rude of my family to do that on my birthday.

I think it's mostly the fact that they are very concerned about me, and yes he made mistakes, but I did too, and we both really changed. Even I was a bit sceptic at first, but now after 2 years I can say that we really grew as a couple. I forgave him, he forgave me, his family forgave me, but mine didn't forgive him.

For the moment I just go alone to all family events (otherwise I wouldn't see my family anymore and that's very painful to me, even after what they did to me, I eventually forgave them and value my relationship with them more than my own pride), but I can't see myself doing this anymore when we're living together or being married... My boyfriend doesn't mind staying away from my family since they don't like him, but I do mind very much so, and I would like to be able to bring my boyfriend to important family gatherings, even if the two parties don't like each other. They don't have to talk all evening to one other, a simple polite hello and goodbye is enough for me.

I couldn't possibly describe all details of this long standing situation in here, so I did my best stating the most important ones :-)

I read some stories about people in a-like situations, but not like mine (were they did like him in the beginning, but not anymore), so I would like to get some advice in how to deal with this in my family for now and the future.

Thank you very much in advance and bless you all.
My apologies for any English mistakes, it's not my native language.
Have a great day! x