18, pregnant, single. Help :(

Reply Sun 9 Aug, 2015 01:54 pm
I know you're all going to judge me but this was a genuine mistake and I honestly think this could possibly be an error.
my last period was the 30th may 2015 but I had an operation on the 25th of June 2015 (appendix removal) well I haven't had a period since and its now August, I thought it was just from the stuff they used to put me to sleep, well I started being sick and fainting all the time so I brought a pregnancy test I knew it was going to be negative but no, my clear blue digital pregnancy test was positive 3+ weeks which on the leaflet says 5-6 weeks possibly more.
I took another one the next day and it was positive again 3+ weeks and then another one 5 hours later and again positive 3+ weeks.
My boyfriend left me on the 1st of July, I'm only 18, I don't have a job anymore and I'm living at home with my parents, and I know you can't tell me what to do with the baby but maybe if anyone has any experiences of being a young mum, do you advise me having an abortion maybe, because maybe that's for the best but I don't know if I will live with myself, I'm very confused and I don't know if this is because I had an operation it's saying positive or if it really is!!!! Please feel free to ask more questions and don't be horrible about this because it was a big shock to me
Reply Sun 9 Aug, 2015 01:56 pm
I forgot to mention, they would've seen it inside me when I had the operation because I haven't had sex since before the operation but we did have sex in June before operation, test at doctors said negative so I could go through with operation but maybe it was too soon to tell???
0 Replies
Reply Sun 9 Aug, 2015 02:25 pm
Stuff happens.

Now, it is highly likely that you are pregnant. It is highly unlikely that an operation would magically make the stick turn blue.

So - bottom line - you need to be dealing with a doctor, no matter what your decision ends up being. Because if you remain pregnant, you will need prenatal care. And if you do not, then you will need a doctor for an abortion.

Either way, chances are good that you will have to involve your parents and probably also your ex. Yeah. This is messy no matter what's going on.

Consider the following.

If you decide to remain pregnant, then your parents will obviously notice. Even if you opt to give up your child for adoption, they are going to figure things out, right? You live with them, so telling them is not going to be optional if you decide to remain pregnant. Also, if you decide to remain pregnant, your ex has rights in the matter, no matter how it ended between the two of you. And so you will have to involve him as well.

If you opt for an abortion, at the absolute minimum, you will need a means of paying for it (it might be covered through insurance) and you will also need someone to drive you from there. It's an operation, too, and since you've been through surgery before, you know that it makes you tired and weak and you need recovery time.

But first, get a doctor's appointment, and discuss your options with your physician. Get a pregnancy test done - not because I doubt your findings but because YOU do. If will be for your own peace of mind, even if other decisions and issues arise, for you to have it cleared that you are definitely pregnant.

And talk to your doctor, and explore your options with him or her, including what it'll be like involving your family and/or your ex, if it comes to that.

Best of luck to you.
Reply Sun 9 Aug, 2015 02:31 pm
Thank you so much for your reply, in the UK we don't need insurance so I would get it free on the NHS, I told my ex he said its best for me if I get rid of it but if I keep it he would be there for the baby, I'm only 18 with no job I know I would get benefits but benefits won't pay for a baby or even a house, I just don't know what to do, I would like to keep a baby but I'll be a single mother with no money and I don't have a house, I'm going to see the doctors tomorrow, just wondering how people coped and what decisions they made and if there was any possibility for the operation to cause this, but you answered my questions thank you so much
Reply Sun 9 Aug, 2015 03:56 pm
Jespah is right as usual.
I think you're the only one who can decide what is is best for you. You definitely need to speak to your parents and probably also a counsellor and you need to do it quickly because I think the longer you leave it the harder you would find it if you did want an abortion. I had an abortion when I was a student and I was 6 weeks pregnant. 30 years later I have no regrets at all. I had a very strong sense at the time that I would go on to have children when the time was right - and I did. I don't know if I could have done it if I'd left it another month. You need to make a decision soon or time will make the decision for you.
I really feel for you. Good luck.
Reply Sun 9 Aug, 2015 11:01 pm
Thank you so much for your reply, I'm about 6-7 weeks too, I only found out yesterday, I've booked an appointment with my gp today to have a blood test to make it official, also tell him I'm thinking of abortion he will refer me to someone who would talk me through it and make sure it's what I want, I'm so glad I know your story it has made me feel so much better, there's just no way I can be a single mum at 18 and rely on the government to pay for us. Thank you so much
Reply Sun 9 Aug, 2015 11:28 pm
While meeting with your doctor, please discuss your birth control options and usage of them so you don't have to put yourself through this again until you are ready for it.
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Reply Mon 10 Aug, 2015 02:48 am
Google Marie Stopes, they offer a brilliant counselling service for people in your position and will help you decide what you really want.

Stay well away from the Godsquad, they've got their own agenda.

Good Luck.
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