Choosing lifestyle instead of a well paid job ..

msolga
Thanks so much and I do hope you are happy with your move. It does take time to settle in, but once you do it feels pretty good to make a change :-)

I'm one of the lucky ones - I have the job I always dreamed of and make good money doing it. I pretty much set my own schedule too as I'm self-employed and have very able employees.

Two weeks ago, though, my life flipped when my two year old sorta-foster-grandson moved in with me and my husband for an indefinate period of time.

He's been pretty stressed out from all the turmoil of his mom and dad splitting up and I've put work on hold until we're able to establish a new normal for all of our lives. Thanks to my very able staff, my income hasn't taken too big a hit.

Now, instead of taking an hour to shoot a photo session, I take an hour to walk around the block. I take afternoon naps. I play hide and seek. I've never been so exhausted in my entire life!

In these weeks I've learned that stress comes in all shapes and sizes and that, while you have to use a different yardstick to measure the rewards, the rewards are there none-the-less.

Getting up at 6am every day and getting home at 5:30 can be a 'life sentence', especially when you don't like or no longer like your job.

One thing we can do for openers is to not get ensnared in the consumerism trap. To not become hypnotized by the 'stuff' that most of us pile up as some sort of 'compensation' for our odious labors,
and try not to accumulate the debt that diminishes our choices and mobility.

If we do that we can have the freedom to make the choices that please our hearts.

As for me, a financial advisor would have probably told me to
wait till age 62 before quitting my full time job. Nevertheless I
did it 6 years earlier than that knowing that I would have to do
without the new car every 2-3 years, that my travel would have to
be, for the most part, budget travel, that I could forget about
season football tickets or frequent expensive dining etc. But,
truth be told I have NO regrets. Now I work 22 hrs per week instead of 60 and my commute is 12 miles one way instead of 58.
Now I am RICH in what matters most to me....Time.

I read a lot of Thoreau in the years leading up to my retirement.
I felt like he was talking to me. My most cherished Thoreau
quotation perfectly expresses my attitude towards work,
possessions etc:

"The cost of a thing is the amount of what I shall call life
which is required to be exchanged for it."
(H.D. Thoreau, Walden, 'Economy')

regards, jjorge

boomer, that's quite a flip. Glad you're there for the kid. Yeah, full-time parenthood is one of the more extreme occupations in terms of both stress and rewards. Lotsa stress; lotsa rewards.

jjorge, LOVE the quote.

boomerang

Congratulations. You sound a very sane & compassionate person. I like the choices you have made in your personal & working life. Good for you!

Here's another of my favorite Thoreau quotations:

"Our life is frittered away by detail...Simplify, simplify"

jjorge

Yes, yes, yes .. I couldn't agree more!

What a pertinent topic, specially at this stage of my career !!! When I left home to make a life for myself, I had a lot of expectations to live up to, specially as the eldest son on an industrial tycoon, who refused to join his father's business. I got into the bank, with no formal degree in banking/business/accounting at a very junior position (I used to earn Rs 3000 a month when I joined - which is abt $60 a very small amount by even by Indian standards), but I always was very ambitious and had set my targets very high. The only way to achieve them was to work like a dog and that I did. I used to work 90 hrs a week, had no life outside work - and my only social circle was people who worked as hard as I did.

And then this became a habit, as I progressed higher up in the organization, more responsibilities meant similar working hours and mix it with traveling constantly (I averaged 3 weeks a month outside UK for some years !!)

Last year, I lost my job due to major differences with my new boss (who was, ironically, a fellow Indian) and moved to another part of the bank where work is not so hectic - and if I want I can keep a normal 9-5 schedule. initially I enjoyed it, I had so much time on my hands to do what I always wanted to but never had the time. But now I am bored and am looking to move back into business towards the end of this year. My lifestyle is my career, and I don't like anything coming between that.

Guess that makes me a workaholic...

My candle burns at both ends
It might not last the night,
But oh my friends,
And ah my foes,
It sure gives a lovely light !!

On reading the topic a bit more closely, I think I have missed out answering the main question

No, I wont choose lifestyle over my job, atleast not right now. And it is not becase of the money only (though I have to admit, it does play a great role) but because of the power, the power which I have, and the power which I want to have!!

Gautam

So, one of us that prefers the pressure & power? The exact opposite of most of the postings here.
It's interesting that it's not the money, but the power you crave. Is this so that people like your previous boss can't have the power over you, or simply because you enjoy exercising power as an end in itself?
A friend once commented that he'd rather go for the power jobs himself, rather than to have someone less talented/younger having power over him! Me, I hate the responsibilities of power/administration - & have avoided it most of my working life. I think making those hard decisions (like sacking people, deciding who to promote & who not to) would keep me awake at night.
I like your story about getting involved in the bank in the first place: There's potential for a terrific novel there!

Very interesting, Gautam.

I would LOVE to work less hours - but I have a mortgage to support and I need to save more money to live on when I am no longe rworking - if I do not die in harness!

A friend suggested recently that it might be worth exploring what impact going down to 4 days a week would have on my income - since it is possible that, by moving down a tax bracket, I might end up with pretty similar take-home pay. I will check this out with my accountant if I ever remember to do my tax!

I confess that I feel as though "it's" got me! I cannot stand the stress like I used to be able to - I am exhausted at the end of the day - I enjoy many aspects of my work while immersed in it - (it uses every spark of intelligence, creativity and emotion that I have!) - but I am not coping with the increased paper-work, bull-**** and crap from on high - and I am just too exhausted to really enjoy a lot of my free time.

Three days a week would be PERFECT!!!!! It is possible that, in a while, I may be able to reduce time - and I would like to do some work well into my older years - mine is a field where experience bears great fruit....

Hi sozobe.

You're comment has really made me think about the effect of one's confidence in their ability in relation to stress.

My job would most likely be considered stressful by most people. I think much of the stress was overcome by my confidence in my abilities.

Parenting, however, is not an area that I ever felt confident enough in to give a try. Realizing that your decisions carry this whole future thing makes my stomach churn. Sometimes choice just has to jam it's foot in your door to see if you can roll with the punches.

My new life would probably be termed "cashing out" by some trend analyst; a thought that really makes me laugh. I'm hoping I'll find that I have a knack for my important new job.

Thanks msolga, for your kind words. I do believe in making careful and deliberate choices but clearly, sometimes karma has other ideas.

littlek

you're young and, I presume, comparatively healthy yet I'm a teeny bit worried for you. In particular It's risky to go without health care coverage for too long. Who knows, maybe some day soon you'll fall in love with someone who has health care coverage. If not, you may need to start thinking about another job.
(not trying to tell you what to do, just a little concerned)

I just like to work, that is get up in the morning get dressed, get in that car and get rolling. I worked at different jobs raising my children, mostly part time but was attending college too. My kids liked my in-and-out lifestyle but not the two years I worked full time.

When the kids were leaving I had a full time job as a writer, but wrote at home. Later got a full time writing job away - thought I'd crack up with the stress but loved it, loved it. Then, I decided to smell the roses and we bought a home on small acreaage and did what I always wanted to - got a horse, a pony, three dogs, two cats, a duck, and lastly a goat. Loved it, loved it.

I've always enjoyed whatever I'm doing. Before writing I worked as a medical assistant, real estate agent, for the money.

Now, I'm 66 and I don't work, don't want to. Still have my animals - horse, dog, 2 cats. We've just moved to Texas and I'm itching to get back into writing part time. Do volunteer work. Still get up in the a.m. and get rolling - down to the barn to care for the horse.


littleK. You're young and will probably move into a better paying job. Men, when they want to get away and think for awhile paint houses. Other in-between jobs are something medical, real estate salesman, any sales. Tell US, what do you want to do, just off the top of your head? Need some closure here, for you.

jjorge - I have health care, I pay (A LOT!) out of pocket.

Tex - I don't really have a strong drive to do any one thing. That's the problem. I'm good at what I do, always have been. But, the drive isn't there. Something else (or maybe it'swhat drives everyone else) is taking it's place. While I'm not driven by material possessions, I may become driven by fear of not being able to care for my later-life.

I have been thinking about teaching. The school system in MA was over-hauled and it started looking better. The pay still bites. But, then the budget cuts started snipping away at that dream, at least for now. No grants, no jobs.

littlek

Sensible girl!

<grin> Well, I AM a capricorn.

Well that explains it then!

it actually could explain a lot.

littlek

Envy!
But you are talking to a pisces here. Now THAT'S what I call a challenge!