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cremation weight limit

 
 
Portal Star
 
  1  
Wed 14 Jul, 2004 11:05 pm
Re: cremation weight limit
Equus wrote:
Someone told me that I could not be cremated if I die because I'm too fat- there is a weight limit on cremation and fat corpses won't burn completely. Is there any truth in this? Couldn't they just leave the burner on longer? Or chop me in two and charge my relatives for two 'batches'?


One of my relatives (one of the fattest men in America) had to be lifted out of his house by crane when he passed. Then, they had to piece together two jumbo coffins to get him in.
0 Replies
 
Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Thu 15 Jul, 2004 05:38 am
Look, it's not exactly tastefull, but it is a low-cost alternative.....


I'm thinking active volcanoes.

You could have one of those things that they have on ships to dispose of the dead - a sort of slide. I can't imagine that there is a fat-ass on the planet that could block up one of those babies. It's sort of organic and natural too....

Hell, you could have a roller-coaster version - spins, loops and a barrel-roll. C'mon - it's not like they're gonna sue or anything....
0 Replies
 
Miller
 
  1  
Thu 15 Jul, 2004 05:53 am
Are the bodies of the deceased, then shot out into the ocean for the whales and sharks to eat?
0 Replies
 
Mr Stillwater
 
  1  
Thu 15 Jul, 2004 05:58 am
No, no - nothing so horrible. Just flung onto molten rock and burned up in the sulpherous pit of fire.....
0 Replies
 
NickFun
 
  1  
Thu 15 Jul, 2004 08:34 am
We thin people are getting ripped off. Obese people eat more at buffets, take up two airline seats, and occupy two burial spots all for the same price! I was at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet recently and I could not stuff down more than 2 plates. Meanwhile, my friend of 300 pounds finished his 8th plate for the same price. It just ain't fair!
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Thu 15 Jul, 2004 08:37 am
Okay, Stillwater, but it's gonna seem strange when all your family & loved ones gather to sing "Amazing Grace" up there on the edge of the volcano.
0 Replies
 
Portal Star
 
  1  
Thu 15 Jul, 2004 09:49 am
People really charge too much for death. Death is free, and happens to everybody. I say, get a shovel or make a fire and it should cost you $25. I hate how businesses take advantage of the berieved. If you're dead, it's not going to do you any good to have a nice, cushy coffin.

When someone I love dies, I fully intend to spend the money I would have spent on cremation or a coffin on a nice public sculpture in their honor.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Thu 15 Jul, 2004 03:55 pm
Sorry, Portal Star, but the public sculpture will have to wait. It's illegal to dispose of a body yourself. By law, you MUST pay for a burial (including casket & vault) or cremation (many states require a casket for this as well).
0 Replies
 
NickFun
 
  1  
Thu 15 Jul, 2004 08:23 pm
Hey Portal. When you die you don't want to be eaten by worms and left to decay! Our system makes you have a nice cushy casket that you can lie in forever. It even has a pillow and foam thing to lie on. Pretty soft.
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  2  
Fri 16 Jul, 2004 06:27 am
Eve--

Laws vary, state by state. Here in PA I know of several urns of wandering ashes--and a number of empty urns where the ashes have been scattered. No graves. No vaults. No caskets.
0 Replies
 
 

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