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Porn problem, work , relationship :/? serious answers only

 
 
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 04:40 pm
My boyfriend texted me today saying that he got a job at being a SEO in a porn website, He told me that he was going to get paid good money so that he accepted (btw my boyfriend already has a job in which he gets paid A LOT of money, so basically is not out of need) AND THIS IS WHAT I TOLD HIM -->


I tell you that you are going to make me feel bad would it change anything? Of course not. Then why even bother? You know what I think about that and Why i think like that. Honestly I'll explain one thing for you to understand me (btw am not trying to fight with you so dont go all defensive mode on). You, as mine partner owe me respect, and you know i havent had any respect in that subject from your side,as well with the likes on instagram and the mesages(which are old but you understand my point that these are things that still hurt me and when you do something similar everything comes down), as I told you you owe me respect ami and by doing that I do not have and you will not care because you perfectly can say "I will not do it" and then you go do it without me noticing. But what can I tell you? you do what you want, now you must keep in mind that you will have a person next to you who is gonna be sad 24/7 and will have 20 thousand doubts and someone that wont trust you for many other reasons. And there is not so much science for that, if now
Update: if now someone says to me "look we're going to pay this much for being a whore" and I tell them "YES" without even talking about it with you first and see what you think, believe me apart from being disrespectful to you I do not care how you feel and I dont give a **** if its gonna hurt. But I'm not iron and do not ask me to feel good or to be constantly talking or things like that, so if you care about your relationship Call That woman in front of me
Update 2: and tell her that you 'cant do that. If all you care about it is money even tho you are going to make me feel bad, then keep the offer, get your money, have fun and **** your relationship. And believe me you can ask 700 women who are going to respond the same as me. So again, do what you believe in, but do not ask me more than I already have stand for you, or ask me to be happy because i cant.
Update 3: ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: HE'S BEING WATCHING PORN SINCE WE STARTED BASICALLY AND LIKE 6 MONTHS AGO I FOUND ABOUT THAT AND TALKED TO HIM I EXPLAINED THAT IT HURTED ME AND OKAY HE DID NOT ADMITTED IT WAS HIS BUT WE LEFT IT IN THERE BECAUSE EVEN THO HE DIDNT ADMIT I TALKED TO HIM AND I THOUGHT HE UNDERSTOOD. FEW DAYS LATER FROM THAT I FOUND AGAIN AND IT
Update 4: WAS THE SAME AND IT REPEATED ITSELF SINCE TODAY, AND A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO I HAD A BIG FIGHT WITH HIM ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE LIKED SOME GIRL PICTURES ON INSTAGRAM FROM 52 WEEKS AGO AND I QUESTIONED HIM ABOUT IT AND AGAAAAIN "IT WAS NOT ME , YOUR GOING CRAZY , YOU ONLY DO THIS BECAUSE YOU WANNA END UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP BLA BLA BLA' AND THE SAME DAY I FOUND THAT HE WAS WATCHING PORN LIKE THE WHOLE PAST WEEK ( AND NOT HAVING SEX WITH ME OBVIOUSLY,
Update 5: NOT THAT I DONT ASK HIM FOR IT ) AND BTW I CLOSED MY INSTAGRAM BECAUSE HE ASKED ME TO (BECAUSE HE WAS JAELOUS WHEN PEOPLE LIKED MY PICTURES OR WHEN I POSTED SOMETHING) HE MADE ME CLOSE MY FACEBOOK TOO , AND ALL MY SOCIAL NETWORKS, HE SEARCHED MY PHONE AND DID ALL THESE FOR A VERY LONG TIME (WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR THREE YEARS AND A HALF) AND HIS LACK OF TRUST WAS BECAUSE MY FRIEND TEXT ME AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE CHEATHED ON
Update 6: HER BOYFRIEND AND MOSTLY THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT MY FRIENDS THAT HE DIDNT LIKE BECAUSE " I WAS GONNA DO THE SAME TO HIM" I GOT TO A POINT IN WHICH I WAS AFRAID TO MAKE FRIENDS BECAUSE I DIDNT WANTED TO
Update 7: LOOSE HIM OR FOR HIM TO MAKE MY LIFE IMPOSSIBLE. BUT HE HAS STOPED DOING THIS BECAUSE HE RELIZE THAT IF HE WAS GOING TO DO THAT TO ME I WAS GONNA DO IT TO HIM AS WELL, WHICH I DID but then i stopped. the thing is that i have been getting like serious trust issues because of these things , and because 1. he never wants to have sex with me
2. he has no tact what so ever
Update 8: 3. he can never tell me that he likes me or stuff like that
and to be honest my self steem drops pretty fast and even tho he thinks iam been dramatic or just acting i fall into deep depression states when he is not around. this was his answer to my message "Its just amazing you cant never accept anything i do , there is no way , read again what i wrote bye"
Update 9: i told him
" i read, btw thanks for reading and understanding that am not fighting with you, i am just giving you my point in the situation and i wanted you to know how i felt about it. So read again and dont say that i cant never talk to me because am not the one saying bye and not trying to understand. Can i ASk you something?" "if you have an
Update 10: stable job , in which you get lots of money why do you have to **** up your relationship and make your partner feel bad and not respected? I just wanna know that and pleasea andwer me right without been childish and saying bye because am not on the mood for that"
Update 11: he say
"Because am gonna get money without basically doing anything just talk to the client and organize the page and nothing else. and am not ******* up anything , you are just like that plz i talk to you later i feel bad already. I am not even doing anythin wrong.

I SAY

its fine , lets leave it like that, its your decision you know what you are doing even tho i already told you what you needed to hear , again, your decision.
Update 12: he say:
I am going to talk to you again when i get home, i think you are just going so wrong.

i told him
"i dont think i have to talk again about this because if i just betrayed your trust in something and the next day i tell you that i have to work with what i betrayed you with BELIEVE ME you are going to be waaaay far from happy so please stop right there and stop talking about the same"
Update 13: he says:
i AM SO DONE.
i say:
dont you say? because i am more than done so you have no right

he says
'ok. what the **** are you doing with me as your boyfriend then?"
just finish it!

i say:
just to let you know you are the one starting the problem not me
Update 14: he say:

If u are so done and all the **** u talk

i say:

i told you to stop
and as always
you started
the routin
of "leave:
me"

he say:
Ok
Ok
Ok
Bye

i say:
dont regret it thanks for understanding my point and evrything

he says:
no no no , dont YOU regret itAnd THANKS TO YOU FOR UNDERstanding
Like ALWAYS Comparison,rancor and the same ****
Thinkig ALWAYS IN YOURSELF
I'm already sick of you pushing me so much, i am sick!
Update 15: i say:
THEN YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO ( HE ALWAYS SAYS THAT IMPLYING FOR ME TO LEAVE HIM"
AND HE SAY:
IF YOU WANTED THAT MUCH.."
AND THAT WAS ALL
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 05:15 pm
I dated a guy for over a year who had a job editing pornographic films (this was in the 80s). It did not affect our relationship at all - we didn't marry because he didn't believe in it. We also grew more apart when I left for Law School and that pretty much ended it. Porn had nothing to do with it, and he had his hands on visuals all the time.

To do SEO for a porn site (or any site) generally involves looking for keywords, advertising on Google or other search engines (not always possible with NSFW sites), back-end coding and tagging. It isn't content creation although it may be content management. He is not taking pictures, but he may be cropping them or adding captions or metatags to them.

Bottom line, it's not a terribly sexy job, any more than doing SEO for a pet store's website makes you a veterinarian.

But I digress. I think you want/wanted out. You have a lot of reasons why you are unhappy. You just seem to be fixating on the porn.

But seriously - Why. Do. You. Stay?

Why stay?

Why hang around where you are unhappy?

Life is too short. You could be hit by a bus tomorrow. Or you could meet an awesome guy tomorrow, and then turn him down because you're still dating this guy who makes you unhappy.

Free yourself.

You will not crumble from being alone. I can practically guarantee that.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Aug, 2015 08:32 pm
@jespah,
jespah wrote:

I dated a guy for over a year who had a job editing pornographic films (this was in the 80s). It did not affect our relationship at all - we didn't marry because he didn't believe in it.


Yeah well, he changed his mind and married me in the 90's. I divorced him but it had nothing to do with the porn.

It was just his job.
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Aug, 2015 06:33 am
@chai2,
How's he been?
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Tue 4 Aug, 2015 08:21 am
@jespah,
No idea. Haven't seen him in over 20 years.
0 Replies
 
 

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