15
   

My invention wont make me a zillionaire

 
 
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:23 pm
But its helping me spell better. Ive made an instrument like a large banjo pick. It fits over my thumb and remaining finger of my left hand. The "pick" allows me to "hunt and peck' at a fairly high rate of speed and my spelling is almost good.

Im not doing any editing because Im attempting to "wing it" so my posts can remain "SOC" without any backsteps or revisits to previous lines.

I do not know why I didnt think of this till now. I got the idea from a guy who's waay worse than I. He is arm -less and yet is a really phenom of a banjo player. He frets with his left foot and picks with a series of bamboo gizmos on his stump of an arm. He sorta braces the whole thing with his left arm which is missing everything from the elbow on down.

I was amazed at his abilities , while at the same time I was ashamed of myself for just sitting on my ass and accepting what is the way it is without trying to do any better . I think my "fake" insouciance about my raft of typos was me just covering that I was feeling sorry for myself and hanging it all on readers of anything I write (including my poor editor who calls me at all hours with a "WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN" tone on her. WHAT A SCHMUCK Ive been).

So,with this little invention I can type really well and my left hand is just as fast as my right. Go ahead, ask me to write something more complex than a declarative sentence .

 
roger
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:26 pm
@farmerman,
The product is really looking good, though I almost never had a problem with the older keyboarding.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:28 pm
@farmerman,
<grinning>
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:32 pm
Kudos. Whatever they are.
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:35 pm
@edgarblythe,
I used to have kudos but theyve invented some new meds for em.

My keyboard does take a whacking from my hammer-like left hand so Im sure Im going to be replacing these jobbies every so often. What the hell, a laptop or tablet keyboard is like 30 bucks installed.
farmerman
 
  3  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:39 pm
@roger,
a couple of people have sent me PMs griping about my not using a spell check or going back and correcting my typos.
I was able to respond to each of them with a sincere "**** YOU-put me on ignore if I annoy you"
Now, I suppose Ill have to do them a mea culpa .


NAAAAH

ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:44 pm
@farmerman,
No!
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:45 pm
@farmerman,
So now you'll be able to type out knitting patterns?

Tell us more about sheep!
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:50 pm
@farmerman,
Gotta hand it to ya, farmer. And sorry for your missing digits.

Type yourself a great reward.
0 Replies
 
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:51 pm
@ehBeth,
Someday lass, someday I shall regale ye with the tales of the weresheep thatd make yer blood run cold .
Right now Im just happily typing along and watching for when I make my first typo.
0 Replies
 
farmerman
 
  3  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:53 pm
@ehBeth,
Quote:
So now you'll be able to type out knitting patterns?
Bullshit. The way Mrs F does all those patterns, I think Id need an enigma machine. I have no idea what the hell she writes(as long as its not Wicca Im cool )
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 06:55 pm
@farmerman,
Enigma machine.

Yes.

I had to go through two magazines, a book and an online forum to figure out what a fish lips kiss heel was - and then how to knit one.
rosborne979
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 07:52 pm
@farmerman,
Very glad you got something that works for you. Could you take a photo of it and post it? I'm curious what it looks like.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Aug, 2015 07:55 pm
@ehBeth,
Sounds like some kind of yoga posture to me.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Aug, 2015 05:25 am
@farmerman,
farmerman wrote:
Go ahead, ask me to write something more complex than a declarative sentence .




Walter White's recipe for blue sky. Make it quick and easy to understand, I've got my mother coming over.
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Aug, 2015 07:42 am
@izzythepush,
In every such recipe, an ample supply of Sudafed is a must. Without the 'Fed your just cooking up window cleaner. The problem started with selling the **** to Tuco.

There are actually folks cooking less pure meth with a blue dye in it. Life and art ya know.
Stupid is the only certain human endeavor
0 Replies
 
parados
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Aug, 2015 10:06 am
@farmerman,
You can buy a stainless keyboard for just over $200 and you can hunt and peck with a hammer for the next 10 years.
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Aug, 2015 10:45 am
@parados,
kewl. Stainless, who makes em. If theyre more than 30 bucks installed, Im so not there.
Herald
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2015 02:32 pm
@farmerman,
There are membrane keyboards, you don't need to do a clown.
I was always thinking that your greatest invention is the terminator in the germs in the GMO grain, and that is what will make you a zillionaire ... at the expense of the poor consumers.
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2015 02:40 pm
@farmerman,
hat really amazes me, farmer, is that your invention is bi-lingual: English and Latin. (And perhaps Pennsylvanian Dutch as well? - Setz der disch!)
0 Replies
 
 

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