It appears to me that your self esteem in this area is at a level that is causing you some heartache.
Self Esteem by the way, because many people mistake what it is all about, is not about your personal confidence (which may reflect your confidence in a skill, rather than the value you place in yourself), nor about your self assurance (which is about your belief that you can achieve things, even if you are currently bad at them, rather than the value you place in yourself).
Self Esteem is, as said, about the value that you find in yourself.
It's not about what you demand as your worth from others - but purely:
- what you see in yourself that you find worthwhile, and
- what you see in yourself that you find important - to yourself.
Because people with high self esteem are happy with who they are, value who they are, and care:
- they inevitably find joy in other peoples successes (being happy with who they are, they don't need
to compete with others over 'who's better')
- they encourage other people to succeed (peoples successes not being a competition with their own, because they are happy with who they are - they usually are quite happy to encourage others to find a sense of achievement)
- are much more patient when conflict arises (because few things are seen as a threat to who they are, they feel 'attacked' in a rather reduced variety of conflict situations, and rarely feel the need to 'attack' back)
It's quite difficult emotionally, when you've competed for looks and are starting to feel like you are 'losing out'...but it's very possible to eventually overcome the 'issues' causing such jealousy by increasing your self esteem. The only issue is that increasing your self esteem takes work (there's no easy short cut).
If you choose to do so, then work on the things that you believe are worthwhile in a human being (those traits will be a reflection of your values)...and bit by bit, as you work while being true to your values (those things you find worthwhile in people) - your own sense of self worth will increase.
Hope it helps.