Is my wife being unfaithful

Forums: Relationships, Marriage, Cheating
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lately my wife seems distant, I try to talk to her but she says nothing.We,ve been together for 14years and married for 9. 4 weeks ago she went out with some friends from work to celebrate their birthdays,our anniversary is a day after her birthday but she didn't come back for three days,she never called myself but she did phone her daughters.when she came home she never even talked about it or where she had been.The following Saturday was her sons wedding and she spent all the time on her phone and totally ignored myself and our younger daughters .The next day she had to work away from home for a few weeks,When I drove her all the way to her hotel she slept all the way there and didn't let me take her to her hotel room she just said goodbye and walked into the hotel.The following weekend she wouldn't let me pick her up said someone else was,the next day she said she was going to her daughters to get her hair done so I dropped her off and went home,younger daughter got text message later on to tell me to pick her up at her daughters so I left straight away and got there 10 minutes later only to find out my wife hadn't been there and she had never spoken to her since the wedding .On my way home I saw my wife coming out of an underground car park so I stopped to pick her up(she said she went for a walk),refused to talk all night and wouldn't let me drive her back down to her work the next day(she had a lift).When she is away she never answers my phone calls or texts.I sent a text asking what was wrong and can I help,she sent back where were you when I needed some one to talk to and love,so I told her I've always been at home looking after our young daughters.She then tells me I left her before she left,I was puzzled about her answer so I asked her if their was someone else,all she said was I wasn't there when she needed me.Now I find out she shares the hotel room with a male who calls and texts her all night (she claims he gay but he calls her mother moist).When she gets back I can't check her phone as she has changed her passcode which she's had for years.Am I over imagining this or could she be seeing someone else and is throwing 14 years down the drain.

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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 1,681 • Replies: 6

[+4] - ehBeth - 07/11/2015It's impossible for us to know if your wife is being unfaithful. Based on what you've posted, it certainly seems as if there is some kind of communication problem between your wife and you. I...

@Mo38,

Do you have a mature friend both of you trust? I hate to suggest counseling in a professional setting, except as a last resort. But I do think a neutal 3rd party may be of some help.

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@Mo38,

Going for walks, ignoring part of her family, ignoring you, working away, staying away, you weren't there for me, when I needed you and someone to love.

Listen to her.

The answer isn't "are you seeing someone" she has attempted to reach out but you are not listening.

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@FOUND SOUL,

I know she says she's tried to talk but I've always listened to what she says and we have always said we love each other,it's just since her nights away with her workmates that things have changed,it's not like her to forget her wedding anniversary she cherishes that more than valentines or birthdays.

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@Mo38,

Rather than take peoples opinion on something you may not be expressing well, do an internet search on 'Signs of cheating'.

You will find numerous sites that list all the signs. Many sites will also explain why those signs (as a whole) indicate unfaithfulness. You can go through the lists and see how many signs are ticked off in your situation.

Other than that - if it of any help at all - given how you explained your situation, I think you already know the answer to your question.

Quote:

Am I over imagining this or could she be seeing someone else and is throwing 14 years down the drain.

Given what you're describing, this likely isn't a fair question regarding your wife.

Your euphemism though, lends itself to the analogy: without even realising it, sometimes things can trickle slowly down a drain until they are all but gone. (ie. the question may not be fair to your wife, because the counter question could be 'is there anything left to throw down the drain?').

The question for you may be 'is the remaining savable', or 'can it be refilled again', or even 'what do I want from here'...it's something that you need to work out within yourself. Counselling may help (either individual, or couple).

Best Wishes

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@Mo38,

It's impossible for us to know if your wife is being unfaithful.

Based on what you've posted, it certainly seems as if there is some kind of communication problem between your wife and you.

I think you need to let her know that you think there's a real problem and that you want to do something about it. Ask her if she wants to be part of the fix.

I'd suggest talking to a neutral third party about what's going on. A minister, a counsellor, something in that range. Either on your own or together.

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@neologist,

Yes we do have a mutual friend I thought we could trust but she knew about my wife weeks ago and now I found out she let my wife use her caravan,and is also passing messages on so I don't see them

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Is my wife being unfaithful

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