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Issues with boyfriends friends

 
 
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 12:25 pm
So I have been dating this guy for almost 3 years, we moved from NY to Ga with each other. I am 23 and he is 32. His friends are a couple years younger then him and all are single. When Jon(my bf) and I met he just graduated school and started his career.. On his own he started to stop going out with his friends but I feel like his friends think it is because of me when really I never said anything to him about it. I really just think he stopped going out with his friends because he wanted more in life and has a career so he had other priorities.
But what do you know after we moved to Georgia his brother, and two of their good friends moved down here. One friend recently divorced and the other friend parties often. Jon always would invite me if they all went out for dinner or just to have drinks. So I went and hung out with everyone but it seems like they did not like when I was around. I then started to have no interest with going anymore so it may have had an influence on Jon. To be honest his friends aren't too polite to other people and drink heavily so I don't even want to be around it anyways. I hear a lot of stories with them going to to strip clubs and doing things they shouldn't which also makes me feel uncomfortable if Jon was around it.
So everything is going great with our relationship he bought a house and have 3 dogs. We spend quality time with each other and enjoy each other's company.
His friends invited him out so he had a guys night and I had a girls night. I was supposed to get a cab with Jon that night because how expensive the cab ride is (over $100) what do you know my calls were ignored by him and his friends so I had to make other plans for transportation. I felt betrayed and maybe it has something to do with his friends? I texted his brother nicely and told him what time should I meet you guys so I can get a safe ride back and they were lying to me of where they were and said I wasn't invited. But I was not looking for an invite the plans were to meet when the night was over so there must be been some sort of lack of communication between Jon and his brother and friends..
I get home at 3 am he gets home at 4am. I said and did some things I shouldn't have. Got into an argument with his friends in front of Jon and he chose them over me that night. Jon and I both agreed he would give me a ride back so I relied on him. I was so shocked when I found out he left me down in Atlanta.
The next morning we did not get along. I had a talk with my mom about the situation and she was disappointed in us both for 1. Jon leaving me down there was not safe she said me he should've kept his word. And 2. Me flipping out and acting immature to his friends. I also forgot to mention Jon and I were both heavily drinking that night.
Later in the day we decided to talk and work it out. Which we did but I still feel uncomfortable. Do I stay with a guy where I cannot get along with the people he is close with? I feel as if I am not respected by his friends which causes me to not respect them. I also am unsure if I would want to be with someone who treats me like that when he is with his friends. Because to be honest I want him to enjoy his time with his friends with no issues. But I would also understand if he did not want to be with me because of how I reacted.
I love the guy to death but I want to be happy and so does he.
I hope you can give me some advice. Thanks!

Thank you,
Amanda
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sat 11 Jul, 2015 12:59 pm
@Alynne68,
I think it's a big problem that you relied on him and he proved that he wasn't so reliable. Heavy drinking isn't the point; such things can be arranged in advance.

This is also on you, though. Isn't Uber in Atlanta? Not cheap but at least it was there, and it could have been arranged in advance.

You're a big girl. You need to step up and take responsibility for getting yourself home - and for your drinking as well. And you need to make a decision as to whether this is acceptable behavior to you. I think you're right that he chose his pals over you. Decide what that means in terms of the future of your relationship.
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