4
   

Hanging out = Dating?

 
 
Reply Sun 5 Jul, 2015 05:59 pm
Hi all. I'm a bit confused like everyday I think about it but I don't know who to ask or talk to.

So I've been "hanging out" with one of my coworkers for over a month. He's way younger than me. We go out, we drink, we party, we go to dinner, movies, park, we hold hands, and sleepover - that kind of thing.

When I tell my friends that I hang out with this guy they tell me it's not just "hanging out" it's "dating". I thought about it and it makes sense. The thing is this guy never said anything about dating and I don't wanna be seemed as clingy person who wants to know about the status and labeling thing. I don't know maybe because he's younger than me? Or maybe I'm older so I have this emotion going on and think too much?

I'm so confused I don't know what to do, like should I ask him? But I don't want to freak him out.

Thanks all!
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Sun 5 Jul, 2015 06:39 pm
@Jenna8821,
Over a month? You should be able to talk to him by now.

He's seen you naked. Have a conversation. Not - ohmigodareweevergonnagetmarried???!!?!??!?!

Just - I'm enjoying our time together. You're good company. Are we exclusive? Because I'd like to be.

Period. And see what happens.
Jenna8821
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Jul, 2015 06:53 pm
@jespah,
Thank you so much for your reply. I am dying to have a conversation with him. The thing is I'm afraid it will freak him out. He's way younger than me. I don't want him to think that I'm clingy or something. He mentioned to me long time ago before this happened, he was like my ex girlfriend had so much emotion for me but I'm just a cold person, I have no emotion at all. So I keep thinking about it until now, I don't wanna be embarrassed too if he said "no we are just hanging out" Oooh so hard!!!
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Mon 6 Jul, 2015 06:52 am
@Jenna8821,
If it is so fragile that a question will destroy it, uh, why are you hanging around?
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jul, 2015 09:07 am
@Jenna8821,
Quote:
The thing is I'm afraid it will freak him out.
If seeing you naked didn't freak him out, I doubt a conversation with him will do so.

Quote:
I don't wanna be embarrassed too if he said "no we are just hanging out"
Nothing to be embarrassed about. Simply respond that you just wanted to make sure you were both on the same page and go on. At least you would then know where he stood and you could decide whether this was worth continuing.

Quote:
Oooh so hard!!!
I hope you are talking about having a conversation with him here and not something else. But yeah, relationships are never easy. Well, almost never. lol

Good luck.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Mon 6 Jul, 2015 09:13 am
@Jenna8821,
Jenna8821 wrote:
I don't wanna be embarrassed too if he said "no we are just hanging out"


nothing to be embarrassed about.

you just have to know upfront if you want to continue doing what you do with him knowing it is not part of a relationship and not heading toward a relationship
0 Replies
 
Vernon of Prague
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jul, 2015 06:18 pm
@Jenna8821,
Quote:
Hi all. I'm a bit confused like everyday I think about it but I don't know who to ask or talk to.

So I've been "hanging out" with one of my coworkers for over a month. He's way younger than me. We go out, we drink, we party, we go to dinner, movies, park, we hold hands, and sleepover - that kind of thing.

When I tell my friends that I hang out with this guy they tell me it's not just "hanging out" it's "dating". I thought about it and it makes sense. The thing is this guy never said anything about dating and I don't wanna be seemed as clingy person who wants to know about the status and labeling thing. I don't know maybe because he's younger than me? Or maybe I'm older so I have this emotion going on and think too much?

I'm so confused I don't know what to do, like should I ask him? But I don't want to freak him out.

Thanks all!


say, am I so clever or just that simple.

You wanna know the difference between hanging out and dating? Just ask your hearth! Even simple hallo might mean either "fok off" or "I really love you. Please stay". The funny part is there is no way how to describe signs of interests...every situation is different, every person is different. Some people are just flirty and act as they are in love, but in real they are just playing. Some are reserved, even aloof yet they deeply desire you.

Ask ask yourself how do you feel when you say hallo. Was it date or just friendly play?
0 Replies
 
Vernon of Prague
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jul, 2015 06:23 pm
@Jenna8821,
Quote:
Thank you so much for your reply. I am dying to have a conversation with him. The thing is I'm afraid it will freak him out.


Yes... don't ask him direcly and don't try to get answer by force. Test him: do smt that is show of dating. Inviting him to romantic dinner. How will he respond? Maybe he pulles off. That still does not have to mean he's not dating. Than ask him "what's wrong? I tought you might like intimate environment... you know, just two of us..." see his reaction "how do you feel with me? Do you enjoy our time together"?

Got my draft? Just ask him soft, indirect questions, never reveal your true inetntions (NOTE: nothing is bigger killjoy then direct game. Unless you are slut and he's douche...). Be mysterious and slowly head to your goal.
0 Replies
 
Vernon of Prague
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jul, 2015 06:37 pm
@Jenna8821,
I am responding to you so boldly because just recently I faced several similar situations - talked with gals way different or younger then me and knew nothing of them.

Just rust your instinct and mostly yourself. everything required you already have, now use that tools without fear Wink

And now please mark my post as "answered" so I can feel beter Smile
0 Replies
 
 

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