I know it is probably for the best to just let him call the shots. I don't want to be anymore hurt than I already am. I'm trying to look at it as, if he really cares, he'll make contact with me again when he's ready but I am doing my best not to just be waiting around. I'm talking to other guys again and that helps and I've also been trying to keep myself busy. It just seems like, when night time comes creeping up, the feelings come up and I miss him saying, "Sleep sweet, beautiful."
I've only had one relationship before him and it was short lived without a lot of emotional connections. He just felt right and I have never felt that before. I knew I shouldn't have let myself get so close to him and I think that's a big part of the problem, my brain is telling me, "I told you so." I didn't trust my gut and now I have feelings for a man who's probably trying to forget what we had.
I really am doing my best to just keep my distance because it's what's best for me and my mind but it can feel hard sometimes. I guess I'm just hurt, even though he didn't sincerely apologize.
But even more so, I don't want to lose him because he has been my friend for 8 years.
I do appreciate your advice though because I have been so confused. Thank you for taking the time to help guide me.