France jokes

A Czech goes to the optician who shows him a card with the letters

C Z W X N Q S T A C Z

"Can you read this?" the optician asks.

"Read it?" the Czech replies, "I even know the guy."

These are better...

Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Czech beauty contest?
A: Me neither.

Q: Why wasn't Christ born in the Czech Republic?
A: Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin.

Q: How did the Germans conquer Czechoslovakia so fast?
A: They marched in backwards and the Czechs thought they were leaving.

Q: How did the Czech mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
A: Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!

Three prisoners, an American, a German, and a Czech, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad.
They bring out the American and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Tornado!"
They all look and the American runs away.
Next, they place the German in front of the firing squad. He yells "Earthquake!"
They all hit the dust and the German escapes.
Next up is the Czech. He looks around and shouts "Fire!"

ok, my turn!

How do you keep a French person from crashing your party?
Put a sign up that says "no nudity"

Why do French People eat snails?
Because they don't like fast food!

Whats the difference between a smart Frenchman and a unicorn?
Nothing, they're both fictional characters

Where can you find 60,100,000 French jokes?
In France.

What do you do if you drive over a Frenchman?
Reverse!



How do you sink a French battleship?
Put it in water.

What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.

The point I was trying to make, which you seem to have missed, is that many people find such jokes stupid and offensive.

hmm... well... yes. Taste for humour varies from place to place but you are right. Hmm.... I did not want to offend anyone neither make foo; of anyone (mostly myself).

is there any chance to delete this thread?

hmm.... sorry for such a rubbish humour. As I said in previous topic - I like France (French) very much! I am just soft for stereotyping people...

Maybeso, but I thought they were all funny, even yours. That probably reveals too much about myself, but its true

I enjoyed them also. However I have heard the same jokes about Polish, Italian, and place what ever nationality you want here.

Yeah, same jokes; different ethnic. Never saw the French Army Knife, though.

you know, I am 27 and I grew up in place where are we all belong to EU Union so to me all EU jokes are something like making fun of your friend next to you. Nobody takes it personal, it's just fun....

No one jokes about the Swiss, at least not often enough.

Pourquoi ne faut-il pas conter des blagues aux Suisses les vendredis?

Pour qu'ils ne risent pas pendant la messe.

There . . . that balance is redressed.

For me, if it's funny, it's funny. Doesn't matter who/what it's about. I laugh at jokes about Americans all the time. Hell, if someone makes a good joke about me, I still laugh.

Why, you insensitive, ugly American brute, you.

I'm told that I'd be quite attractive if my face were shaped different.

Mainly, that's because you don't have a stick up your arse.

Well, not right now, anyway.

- Netherlands is country with highest population in the world...

Or Nepal...

Why wasn't Jesus born in France ?
Cause they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin .

Why are there no French doctors?
Because you can't write prescriptions with spray paint.

How did the Germans conquer France so fast?
They marched in backwards and the French thought they were leaving.

What do you do if a Frenchman throws a pin at you?
Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.

Did you hear about the French Helicopter crash?
The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.

my circuits are sometimes a bit slow I guess so it took me time to realize some people don't like humour based on national stereotypes. at my defence I would like to point out pages like countryball just like this:

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/polandball
http://www.reddit.com/r/polandball/

as you can see, this humour is nowadays very popular and I can tell that most of my friends like to too. Very much. But I am 27 and some people here are older individuals, so it's possible their perception is very different. In that case, my deep apology, mostly to Mr. Tes Eyes Noir or Mr. Olivier5 for misjudging the situation. You have my promise I will cause no more sensation.

Thank you and... nice day