I lied to my girlfriend about something stupid,i cant lose her

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Ok so i will try keep this short with as much detail
I am currently in a long distance relationship with the girl of my dreams,she really is EVERYTHING i ever wanted.
I had gone out the friday night with the boys and two brought there girlfriends.
this was fine when i told my girlfriend,the saterday night i had plans to go fishing with old guy mates but before i was to see some friends shortly before fishing and they would go there way after i saw them (they went clubing)

And this is where i really did something so stupid.
I didnt think to much about visiting them as they are all friends,but when i told my girlfriend what i should do i lied about going to a friends house(boys and girls). i didnt want here to be worried .
when getting to there fishing my phone died and so i had no photos,i asked my friend for photos of where we had gone as i did not know the name,now he sent me two photos from the internet of that area that we went fishing from and i sent them to my girlfriend but lied saying one was a guy that was with us.
she clicked that something was not rite and searched the internet finding the pictures,(aparently just type in the general area and bam they there)

Now she wants nothing to do with moving her and feels she cant trust me ,i just want to explain how stupid i feel,and after the affect knowing i hurt her had on me i never want to do it again,

she really means so much to me and our plans are for her to move country to New Zealand.
i love her so much im seeking help from the internet anywhere ,please someone help me

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 2,144 • Replies: 13

@Jarrydw,

You used generic photos instead of specific photos and she thinks that's a reason to change your relationship status?

Perhaps if things are so wobbly that she's looking for a reason to put things on hold, it's a good thing that they're on hold.

Take a step back.

Let her know you're sorry that you used the generic photos and weren't honest about it, but agree with her that it's probably not best to rush into her moving to join you. You don't want her doing that if she's not 100% of you and the relationship.

Take some time. Visit each other more. Spend time with each other's friends and family. Get to know each other better in person.

One of you can always move to join the other in the future.

_______

In the meantime, enjoy your life and spend time with your friends - the same way you would if you were together.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

she is not used so much to change i think the smallest thing is obviously going to make her question a little ,( she says always that she never felt this much inlove and wants to come but its scarry also) i dont have a good past at all and iv told her all of itfor the first time any relationship of mine, but the moment she stole my heart from the first look i had a different aim and direction in life.

weve stayed in germany for three months with her family and friends and i asked her dad for her hand,we at the stage where we both want to start our future together its just the move and now i feel iv lost her trust

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@Jarrydw,

You have to take a step back.

You apparently have to earn her trust again.

I do question how ready she is for a relationship when the matter of a photo can set her off to this degree. You both may need to reconsider things.

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@Jarrydw,

Jarrydw wrote:

she is not used so much to change i think the smallest thing is obviously going to make her question a little

she sounds like a very young person

small things really shouldn't make someone question a relationship in this way

1 Reply

If she's like this now, think what she'll be like later when you are married!

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

she is not young,27 but is a sensitive lady and we have been talking and she says we can sort this out,its not okay but we try to fix it. I think what makes it worse is that I am so against lieing and she knows that (thats why it shocks her and makes her worried ,because why did i do it to her is what she is thinking)

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@Jarrydw,

She would be asking then why? If you are so against lying why did you?

Trust is trust, regardless of whether you are in a long distance relationship or not.

One might perceive it to be a "white lie" in order to not worry her however, having done that it ate at you that you did it at all.

That would be my reasoning and logic to her.

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I stopped lying at all in my twenties, even re politely. The transition took a big wad of time. No, I don't say your daughter is wearing an ugly dress, but I also don't tell her it is beautiful. (it is she who is beautiful).

As an offshoot of my avoidance of lying, I ran into various walls, but (maybe I got less belligerant) people started to connect.

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@Jarrydw,

Has she been in any serious relationships in the past?

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

yes a 5 year one that she left for me.we truelly have something amazing , and now she feels as those her crazy love feelings are gone

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@Tes yeux noirs,

what would you mean

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@Jarrydw,

Quote:

what would you mean

You have not yet married her, and she is behaving like a silly child. When you have married her, and are in effect imprisoned, she may well become even more demanding and unreasonable.

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@Jarrydw,

Jarrydw wrote:

when getting to there fishing my phone died and so i had no photos,i asked my friend for photos of where we had gone as i did not know the name,now he sent me two photos from the internet of that area that we went fishing from and i sent them to my girlfriend but lied saying one was a guy that was with us.

she clicked that something was not rite and searched the internet finding the pictures,(aparently just type in the general area and bam they there)

going back to the OP

your girlfriend is seriously concerned about the relationship because you sent her a stock photo?

I understand that it would have been best if you'd said upfront that you hadn't taken any photos and said here's general pic of the area.

but ... this is truly insignificant.

I hope there is something truly magnificent about this woman that makes up for her nitpickery. I don't think I could put up with a friend like that, let alone try to be in a relationship with them.

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I lied to my girlfriend about something stupid,i cant lose her

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