Men 50+yrs are so SET in their ways!

Yep, that's definitely why.

From my own experience, the majority of men who are in the age group you described tend to be "helpless." You know, can't/won't cook or clean, seem to want a maid instead of a companion, and someone to drag along to the activities they alone choose. No doubt the woman may have little or no interest in whatever activity this may be, but they are expected to sit through it anyway and not complain. Meanwhile the man would never accompany her to an activity she may suggest. They expect women to mold themselves into their lives, while the man isn't expected to compromise a thing.

Actually you really can't put the blame on older men, this is just what happened because of the way society raised its children when they were growing up. I figure they're like that because people that age in general moved from their parents' house right into own homes, often right out of high school. People got married much younger and never had an opportunity to live on their own and learn how to take care of themselves.

In the 1950's and 60's Mom was always at home waiting with a warm dinner and clean laundry, and that's their definition of what a woman is supposed to be. Younger men weren't brought up that way and usually had a mom who worked outside the home. So they don't expect someone to follow them through the house with a laundry basket picking up after them because it didn't happen in their formative years. Their moms didn't have that kind of time.

The reasons above are why after my first marriage ended I had no interest in men my age or older, and always dated men who were younger, and eventually married one. Younger men see women more as equals because they've had to clean their own apartment and make their own meals, so they don't expect "another mom" to move in and baby them. They're just much more self-sufficient. They respect and appreciate an independent woman.

If my husband sees that the carpet needs to be cleaned, he gets the sweeper and cleans it instead of lying on the couch yelling for me to do it. We both work full time, so household chores are done by whoever notices that they need to be done first.

Sadly, in the 50's and 60's, most of us women were expected to do nothing more with our lives than "grow up, find a man and marry it and do what he says/keep him happy." Sadly, that was supposed to be our life's goal. Finding a woman to marry was never first priority boys our age were raised with, however, so these men just expected us to be compliant with their wishes because we needed to be married so badly that we'll do anything to please them and keep them happy with us. That was supposed to be a woman's reason for living in those days, keep everyone else happy and hell with yourself.

Fortunately, after that generation this way of thinking changed and young girls were encouraged to go to college and have a promising career so they're financially independent. These are the type of women that younger men are used to dating. They don't expect women to sacrifice their own identity for them or to revolve their lives around a someone else's. They are used to associating with women who have their own lives, careers, goals, dreams.

I just got tired of being expected to be June Cleaver and started preferring men from a generation that has more realistic expectations of women, and of themselves.

And yes a 50-year-old too set in his ways by this point in his life and it's a waste of time to even attempt to change it.

You can't make someone something he's not. Whatever age a potential mate may be, it's a better idea to look for someone who was already what you wanted when he came into the picture. Much less stressful and much more gratifying.

IMO, Men may be the stronger sex physically, but women are sturdier, and more flexible. Women have been expected to juggle many tasks at once throughout their lives.

Over the years, I have discovered that men don't often change....................they are what they are when they were younger, only more so. Their habits get fixed in concrete.




I think that SueZCue has hit the nail on the head!

After reading all that above, I wil go three times to my men's self-help group this week.

Hmm - fortunately NOT my experience with my male friends - in general - nor with the fellas I have been seeing - my current is the oldest fella I have ever been with - 59 - and is extremely flexible and eager to learn and such - thinking of commencing a new degree.

As for dragging me off to things! Hello! - neither I nor any man I have ever been anywhere with is a handbag! I have never seen a membrane attaching me to anyone....

I think both sexes can become very rigid. As I understand the current state of neurological knowledge, men do have something of a disadvantage in that they tend to lose brain cells as they age mainly from the "higher centres" of their brains - which can lead to a more noticeable loss of social skills and finesse (we have other issues) and, I think, some increase in rigidity. However, this in part depends on the richness of connectivity and such in these areas - so I guess highly socially skilled and flexible and eager to learn men are somewhat protected in this regard - and we are all individuals as well as genders.

Ageing - in the absence of frank pathology - DOES, indeed, seem to include a kind of distillation of personality - so that whatever we are - good and bad - we become more so!!!

Frankly, (as I and all my friends say, as we look around at each other with amused and slightly frightened eyes) THAT scares the heck out of me!

I am not trying to deny your experiences, Earthbound Angel, I just think that we al see a little corner of life. So far, mine seems a little different from yours.

But - younger men are fun, too!!!!

Hilarious post, Walter - and have I said how much I like your signature line? "How good bad music and bad reasons sound when we march against an enemy."

Actually, I think I HAVE said that....damned memory...

ladies no offense.....but you're full of **** on this one.....first of all men at this age are not helpless, can do whatever we choose or want to do and need no to second mommy to help out....set in our ways may be a euphemism for made up our minds how we like things and feel no particular need to constantly "evolve"....

as we enter into a phase our lives (well some of us :wink:)
when we're no longer completely driven by the need for sex we no longer need to tailor ourselves for you girls and your approval ...take the hint.....

btw, squinney is coming back from Oklahoma after being gone three weeks and I need to clean up some. Can anyone out there tell me how to work the dishwasher and how come my underwear looks tie dyed now?

Bi- I don't know if you were talking to me when you I wrote this, but I never said that men were helpless. For instance, my husband is quite capable of taking care of himself........................in those areas where he wants to. In other areas, there is a certain helplessness that defies credulity!

Men 50+yrs are so SET in their ways!


Hey ! ! !


I resemble that remark . . .



(High-larious, Walter . . . )

Very funny, Walter!

Got any dogs? Put the dishes on the floor immediately after eating, and you don't have to worry about the dishwasher.

Your smalls look like tie-dye now because you mixed the colors together when you washted them, you big dummy. Put all them clothes back in the washer and throw in two, three cups of bleach . . . you'll be ok . . .

Bear said:

"how come my underwear looks tie dyed now"

cos yer full of shite!



Where have all these men who change themselves cos they want sex been?

God, if you bought that line, you deserve any crumb-bum you ended up with . . .

Funny? You should join us, just once ... of course, since it's only about serious stuff (=masculine), you can't

Yeah, too bad about that, Walter! But are you all making good progress? :wink:

Oh ****... the dog...was I supposed to be feeding the dog? Man, I just thought she'd been working out or something.....help me out girls, where do you keep the Kibbles and Bits at your house?

I extend my paw in the spirit of open and friendly debate and Ms. Buns says I'm full of ****. That hurts a sensitive Care Bear like me.

Well Miss Thing after a close examination of your picture over at the Gallery it would seem that you're the one whose eyes are brown....... hmmpph

Actually no one said "all men are helpless."

What I said above was, "the majority of men who are in the age group you described tend to be "helpless."

You can't generalize any one trait to any one group because there are always exceptions to any rule.

That's just my observation, and I can't speak from anyone else's personal experience but my own. Sorry if it offended anyone, it wasn't meant to.

Happiness is not age-specific, and I did not say that in my posting. Please re-read my last paragraph.

I think so - mostly due to the dog attending as well.

thank you for clearing that up.... I personally am glad to fill the stereotype of "Man as Dagwood Bumstead" as long as I get laid regularly...it seems to make todays enlightened women so happy..... :wink: