I am young and pretty new to the gay world. One problem: I can't find any men my type?

Reply Wed 10 Jun, 2015 10:38 am
I am very new to able2know so I am sorry if I make any mistakes on this website! I am not very good with forums.
I have nowhere else to really turn to. I need help from the gay community!
I am 19 years old, pretty femme, cute, funny, unique, sweet, optimistic, bubbly, flamboyant, and submissive. I am blonde and I have blue eyes. I actually received the prettiest eyes and most unique laugh for personality traits my senior year of high school!
Okay, I am sorry I have focus and attention issues. Let's get to the point: I cannot find any gay men my type. For some strange reason, this generation of gay men seems to emphasise the "pretty boy" look and the "twink look". Thing is, I am totally absolutely turned off by these men. They are not attractive to me but they flood the gay dating apps and nearly all of the gay men I have met in person are either the same way or they're taken. I consider myself a pup or a cub; I'm a little husky and hairy but I am so new I consider myself still a pup.
This one guy I had a really big crush on said I was gorgeous and I sounded so interesting to him. Next thing you know, I told him I liked him and he said he was in an open relationship — I was not having it. I am NOT going to be used by some dumb guy that I have a little crush on.
This really disappointed me and after numerous amounts of my time trying to find a descent guy, I'm about to seriously give up. I've tried everything. I've looked just about everywhere I can. The clubs do not have any descent guys. The dating apps are just full of those twinks or just guys that are weird and definitely far from my type.
My type are huskier, masculine, hairy men with a good sense of humour and will love me and acknowledge me for who I genuinely am. I want a big teddy bear to hold me and make me feel secure. I am beautiful inside and outside and I deserve to be happy and I deserve a great man to share my life and experiences with. I've tried to reach out to the bear community but they either laugh at my age or they try to take advantage of me.
My last boyfriend was a bear and I truly began to love him, but once I gave him head (my first time doing so) he wanted nothing more to do with me. He wanted to have sex too but I said no because I'm just like that.
I'm still a virgin and I want to share it with a man who truly loves me. One guy told me it wasn't even worth it because he waited until he was 24 for the experience and said it wasn't worth waiting for whatsoever. I didn't let him discourage me but it really dawned on me that sex really isn't what it's all cut out to be.
I apologise for making this a tad bit long. I am attending community college in the fall for two years and then transferring to a university after. I thought it would be more intelligent due to the fact that it's much cheaper and more convenient because I live by quite a few of them. My area isn't that small - we have a major university in my area and many community colleges. My county has over 400,000 people and the counties around it mostly have less but there's two really big ones with millions to the south of me. Okay I know slightly irrelevant but I'm just trying to give an idea of where I live.
Any ideas? I am really sick of being alone and I want some companionship and I just would like to feel wanted... It is honestly all I have ever wanted, to feel and be wanted.
Thank you for your time, consideration, and advice. I would really appreciate any help or assistance! <3(:
Reply Wed 10 Jun, 2015 12:08 pm
In the interests of full disclosure, I'm female. I'm also het.

Be that as it may -

I'm sorry you're not seeing anyone interesting online (or that they're turning out to be duds - I can relate to the frog-kissing thing). What about in your home town? I would give the same advice as I would to anyone in your position, e. g. participate in outside activities that you enjoy as that will telegraph the kind of person you are to others. Whether that's volunteering at an animal shelter, working on a political campaign, going to a gym, joining an amateur acting troupe, going to tabletop gaming meetups, or just helping little old ladies across the street. Of course not everyone you meet will be gay but they may know people (or be related to them) and in the meantime, you do good things, you make friends, and that's all great for your self-esteem and your life in general.

I am assuming you've been looking for guys on Grindr. I just did a Google search on Grindr alternatives, and this list came up - http://appcrawlr.com/app/uberGrid/267903

I cannot vouch for the quality or reliability of any of those sites, or even whether any of them still exist (OkCupid certainly does), but it might behoove you to branch out both online and in person.

In the meantime, hang in there. All the best to you.
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