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Thu 4 Jun, 2015 10:08 am
I've been with the same guy for almost two years now and we got married November 10th of 2013. Recently we opened up our relationship in order for us to play together only. We had 4 threesomes during this time. We both had some insecurity and jealousy during and after the sex with these guys. After these experiences, I began to have this nagging feeling that my partner would play with someone alone without telling me if the opportunity presented itself and I had to check out my gut feeling. So I downloaded an app that would give me a fake phone number and I downloaded some pics of a really hot guy I knew he would be attracted to. I began to text him from this number telling him I was friends with some of his clients. My husband is a hair stylist. I made up a name for this would be suitor calling him "Mike". I texted my husband from the fake number telling him that some of his clients that I am friends with gave me his number so I could contact him for a haircut. I told him I was in the closet and that I was curious about gay sex and had seen him several times as I passed by the salon and wanted to see if he would be interested in meeting up. He asked if I wanted a haircut and I told him I was more interested in meeting with him to play with him. He told me he was married and only played with other guys with his husband. I told him I was just interested in hooking up with him to which he said, "What would you want to do with me." I sent him the nude pics I had downloaded from the web and told him I wanted to do whatever he was comfortable with. He called the number from his work phone and left a voicemail saying he would meet me at the time and place I suggested. I left work and arrived at the appointed time and place to see if he would stop there to meet up with "Mike" and he did. I confronted him on the scene and he said he knew it was me but later admitted that he wasn't sure if it was me or not and had intended to go through something sexual with the guy if he was real. I was heart broken and am still struggling with the whole thing. We have since decided to end the open relationship thing and have both sworn to each other there would never be any sex outside of the relationship but I'm worried he won't be able to keep up his end of the bargain. What would you do if you were me?
@peterjscardino,
Delete that app and get some counseling, to determine why I would feel the need to engage in what the cops call
entrapment when it comes to the person I purportedly love the most in the world.
@jespah,
I deleted the app after we discussed it. I was honest with him in saying that I don't know what I would have done if I had been in the same situation. However I did have a similar opportunity before all of this but turned it down. I do love him more than any other person in the world and I want our relationship to work but when you have a strong gut feeling about something, don't you want to check it out and see if you are right or wrong? I needed to prove myself wrong. I don't doubt that we both probably need some counseling over this and I know he would be willing to go with me. We've been to a few counseling sessions already previously. Thanks for your reply.
@peterjscardino,
You've managed to prove that neither of you can be trusted.
Kind of hard to see what good that can be for a long-term relationship.
@ehBeth,
Both of us came out of relationships where our previous partners respectively, were unfaithful. I think this has a lot to do with each of our trust issues. I appreciate your reply but I'm hopeful for a better outcome than what you forecast. Thank you though.
Entrapment? Even more than that.
You knew EXACTLY what to dangle in front of your guy and now you act surprised and appalled that he would bite at the very bait you custom designed for him.
Shame on you.
What you now have discovered is that he is putting himself out there as "available" to others, even fake ones that you designed.
Shame on him.
You two aren't going to make it. There is nothing real about your relationship.
@PUNKEY,
That's a very sad evaluation of the circumstances. I don't agree with you that we won't make it. I think this is simply a hurdle that we will get over and we will grow stronger through it. I'm determined to make it with him because our love for each other is real. We both have trust issues that we need to work through and some self esteem issues to work through as well but other couples have made it through worse than this. Thank you for your honest input though.
@peterjscardino,
peterjscardino wrote:
Both of us came out of relationships where our previous partners respectively, were unfaithful. I think this has a lot to do with each of our trust issues.
and what did you both learn from those previous relationships?
one considers cheating and the other sets him up to cheat
those aren't signs of progress
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