She says i am not serious

Why the hell would you stay with someone who has given up on the relationship?

Sorry, but that's passive-aggressive behavior at its worst. She just seems whiny, clingy, and controlling. Accident aside, you seem as if you're trying to be attentive.

She has checked out of the relationship. You're just her whipping boy now, it seems.

So, why stay?

She says this and you want to stay in a relationship with her? This attitude is a disaster waiting to happen. Go out and find someone who won't "give up on you."

But she has been through a lot and i dont want to leave us. And we've made a promise to make us better. And i dont know where to start making things right. I want to make this work somehow. Anything i can do?

Because we made a promise to stay no matter how hard things get. we've had other relationship before we met and this has been the most perfect one. Honestly, breaking up isnt our option in any way.

Bullshit.

You are not married to this gal.

I get the feeling you are young - very young. Do you want to be dealing with this crap for the next 50 years? Seriously?

Life does not have to be this way, and you are not shackled to her.

Do you know how many relationships I was in before I got married (at age 29)? He was my 12th, for guys I dated a month or more.

My husband and I have been married for over 23 years, and together for over 26. We love and care for each other. If I had stayed with most of those other guys, I would have been in divorce court at some point.

Yes, you both promised. I get that. But you can both breach that promise. It's okay. It doesn't mean you're bad people or you are incapable of committing or you're immature or anything of the sort.

It means that you care enough about each other to let the other person find someone better suited to them. It means that you care about each other's happiness.

Dating is an experimental time. It is rarely forever. It isn't meant to be. It's how you figure out what you like, what you despise, and what you'll put up with. It's how you learn to compromise, and how to take a stand. It is not where you learn to just let **** happen to you forever because of some vague, unenforceable promise.

You can both end this, and I bet you'll both be relieved.

I dont know about this. What you saying is actually practical. And it helps the both of us. But I think i am gonna give it another try and just talk it out, maybe we can come to a conclusion which is good for both of us. Thanks Jespah. Appreciate the advice.

What does she bring to the relationship? what does she do to make you happy? what does she do to express her love of you?

well when we started it was amazing. The talks, the laugh, the connection(we still are). But i dont think we have been together long enough to decide to leave or not. But she makes me happy, she cares about me, she was there for me all the time. But from past 2 weeks its getting annoying for both of us, maybe im not spending time with her, or maybe she misses me too much. We are not living together. To express herself she tries to talk or text me but i will sometimes be busy and wont be able to reply. Which instantly pisses her off and when i come back and talk to her she says "you ignore me" . But How can i explain that i dont do things on purpose.

So both of you made the promise.

What is she doing to make it better?

What is she doing to figure out where to start, make things right, make it work somehow. What is she asking about what she can do?

In any event, you've already said you're going to hang in there. You've made your decision, so best of luck.

Seems that's what you're relying on, luck, not efforts on her part.

Actually, a lot of us have no trouble seeing through bullshit one-size-fits-all generic advice.

I appreciate you all for your advices and suggestions. And Jonathan, I guess this time i am gonna listen to my heart and i hope i do the right thing. I hope talking makes it better and i hope no one gets hurt. Thanks you.

Hey Jonathan, It just so happened that it was not a problem of the particular situation as u said. I hadn't spoken to her for a few weeks because of my exams and in the mean time she met with an accident and sprained her hand, then she doesn't live with her parents anymore which made her lonely . I had a talk with her and she said sorry for acting weird and now everything back to normal except few things. We're working on it, Thanks for the help. I am happy that we talked it out.

If you think you're doing everything right, go the same way. Let it adapts to you!