Friends with benefits for 8 years or more?

Well first please excuse my English, I only know basic English. But I hope you guys understand and give me some advice. It's my first time in this site too.

I don't know where to start but... I've been in friends with benefits relationship with this guy for like 8 years (he lives overseas) so it's like a long distance friends w/ benefits relationship.. He's 8 years older than me. Since the beginning of our relationship I can feel that he actually love me (that's what I believe and I still do). But it feels like he's the type of person who don't want to tie himself into a serious relationship or something so that's why we stay like that (that's what I guess). He supported me with all my financial needs including school fees for 4 years. And he still does until now as I'm a fresh grad. I didn't ask for it, he offer it himself as he said that he wants me to have future atleast. During 2 years of our relationship we decided to meet, and we continue our relationship like we always do. Because I truly love him, I didn't mind this kind of relationship at all. I was hoping that maybe one day he will take me seriously. Even though he's in overseas I stayed loyal to him and didn't date anyone. He did the same thing for 8 years. But last year he suddenly decides that we should stop this, so I can find a real boyfriend (I never had a boyfriend, he's my first and all). Even though I don't want it, I agreed. We still talk to each other everyday like we normally do, almost nothing change really. Now 1 year passed and we still both single. Then just the other day he said that what he hoped for didn't even even work. Then he asked me if it's ok to go back to what we are before. I still love him, but I don't want to get my hopes high again like before. He know all this time that I love him. For 8-9 years he always said I love you to me, but I don't know anymore. I feel like somehow he loves me but at the same time he want to push me away. Or does he really love me? What should I do?