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I really like this girl but...?

 
 
Reply Sun 10 May, 2015 10:51 pm
I really like this girl named Lindsay. She's beautiful, extremely smart (3rd in the Senior class!), funny, and an all around awesome person. We're good friends, sometimes we text each other, and joke around at school.

My problem is, I really want to tell her, but I'm afraid she'd feel offended in some way, because I'm not 100% sure she's Gay/Bi. I know she's pro-gay rights, but she'd uncomfortable with talking about certain subjects, such as sexuality, religion, etc.

I'm completely Ok with her saying no, that's not a fear of mine because I know the possibilities of that, but I just don't want to offend her or make it awkward between us as friends.

Help? Opinions?

Thank you in advance.
 
glitterbag
 
  0  
Reply Sun 10 May, 2015 11:04 pm
@Snlckers,
If you like this girl, don't be nosy. It would piss me off if a school mate asked a question out of idle curiosity. What difference does it make anyway? You are not entitled to know every private thing about others, regardless of how curious you are.
Snlckers
 
  3  
Reply Sun 10 May, 2015 11:06 pm
@glitterbag,
Are you sure you read everything properly?

I'm not being nosy, I'm asking for advice on how to go about asking her out.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  3  
Reply Sun 10 May, 2015 11:08 pm
@glitterbag,
I think she's wondering how or even if to make a move. Not something I could help with, but I think that's the thrust of the post.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 May, 2015 11:09 pm
Cross posted again.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 May, 2015 11:11 pm
@roger,
Ok, I'm confused. Is a male or female asking the question?
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 May, 2015 11:15 pm
@glitterbag,
Fem, I do believe.
Snlckers
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 May, 2015 11:19 pm
@roger,
Yes, I am female.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 May, 2015 12:48 am
@Snlckers,
Sorry for the lack of positive suggestions. We usually do better, and somebody smarter than me is bound to come along.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 11 May, 2015 05:37 am
@Snlckers,
I think you'll need to handle this as more of a two-step process. E. g. (1) determine whether she's receptive to going out with girls and (2) ask her out.

Fortunately (I think), you can do both in one shot.

Ask her for a soda or coffee or the like after class. If you need a pretext, ask her about homework or her summer plans. Get through the soda or coffee, and have a pleasant time (Smile). When it's done, ask, "I had a really good time, Lindsay. Do you want to do this again? But as a date?"

You'll get the following possible responses:
  1. Sure, I'd love to!
  2. I thought this was a date (this is when you reply with your preferred equivalent of "D'oh!")
  3. I can't make it that day, how about ___?
  4. Sorry, but I've got a girlfriend/boyfriend (bonus as this will give you an inkling whether you'd have a future shot. The existence of a boyfriend does not preclude possible bisexuality, but the existence of a girlfriend would of course indicate reception to dating girls).
  5. Sorry, but I don't want to get too involved with the summer coming, as I'll be away (or working, etc.).
  6. Sorry, but I don't date girls. But I agree this was a good time. I'm sorry if I led you on in any way. Friends?
  7. No! (she runs away, slams doors, and joins the French Foreign Legion).


I doubt the last one or its equivalent (e. g. a virulent, homophobic rejection) is in the cards, particularly if your own sexuality is well-known.

Also, if she refuses the original coffee or soda, then consider the matter closed.

It's a minefield! Good luck to you.
Snlckers
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 May, 2015 08:12 am
@jespah,
Thank you so much!
0 Replies
 
 

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