Long Distance-Cross Cultural-Fighting more and more; where to go from here?

Hello, I apologize in advance that this is going to be rather long.

Disclaimer- for the sake of brevity I am leaving out the positive aspects of my relationship. On the whole we respect each other and there is love between us. Sometimes I really think he could be the one, but recently things have really deteriorated.

Context:
I am a 21 year old Caucasian female from a financially well off west european background. I grew up internationally. I study in Hong Kong with one year till graduation.
He is a 23 year old Han Chinese male from a lower middle class, slightly dysfunctional family. He grew up in middle China. He studies in Hubei province and is graduating in a few months time.

We have been together for a year and have known eachother for two years.
In our one year relationship we see each other every two months or so.

Take Away:
We come from very different cultural backgrounds which has caused some troubles earlier in our relationship (different attitudes towards sex, gender roles, opposite sex friends etc..) but has also sparked interesting dialogue, fostered maturity and growth in both of us.
More importantly, some parts of our personality are very much at odds.

I am driven, disciplined, irrational at times, passionate, make other peoples problems my business (Doormat syndrome,..idk), crave new experiences, can be confrontational, blunt

He is somewhat lazy, logical, likes to push peoples buttons, make off hand comments, likes security and comfort, less blunt, also very confrontational, violent tendencies (HE HAS NEVER LAID A HAND ON ME, tendencies.. as in hitting objects, throwing things etc....)

Currently:
I have a summer job in Shanghai and he accompanied me to search for work. However in a week he sent out only one application and I nagged him about that and his efforts/motivation in general. This soured the mood a lot. He is scared about the future and his prospective career and I tried to be helpful but that only made everything worse (this is my fault and admission, and not what I am seeking help about).

We also have fights occasionally that generally follow the below flow but during that week happened so frequently. That in the backdrop of a sour mood resulted in him cutting his stay with me short.

Generally-
1) he makes an offhand comment or jab at me
2) I get angry, sometimes I tell him to stop it (he usually doesn't or says "what's wrong with you? what's the big deal?!"), sometimes I don't. regardless that usually almost always brings us to point
3) I snap, retaliate by saying something not off hand, just full on hurtful
4) He not conflict shy retaliates as well
5) The situation intensifies. Sometimes we can talk each other down. This week specifically we couldn't and one of us ended up taking a very long walk alone.

Currently we are taking a two month break about to think things over. We left it at either we resolve the above or we should separate. I want to fix my relationship but I don't know how.

Somethings really just set me off and I don't know why (he is one of only a few people who bring this out in me).
He is who he is, apart of which is this creepy behavior of tormenting others (which sometimes is funny and sometimes I can take it when he does it to me but at other times...)

Please help me.