Young virgin in love with a moron

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I had met this wonderful student (I guess she is European) online and we were just talking.
Her story is she is a 21 y/old virgin who had never been kissed and saving herself for a right person. Now she is in love with this class mate who asked her in a casual conversation why can't she be his girlfriend.
They are friends and she is falling for him, fell already...
One day on the way to the class he asked her to swear to keep this a secret.
That stupid secret is he is in love with a girl who is in another country and doesn't really love him and soon moving even further. So he can not live without her, he is hurt and he is asking 'my girl' to be that girl but he promises her he will never fall in love for her.
WTF!!!
First of all how is it a sworn secret?
Second of all he doesn't see that girl. She is moving away...
what ta **** are these youngsters having in their heads in place of a brain?

She is all upset and in love and I am trying to help her out but I do not have an advice. Help?

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Type: Discussion • Score: 3 • Views: 738 • Replies: 15

None of your business why someone thinks something is a secret. Saying you're curious or "just want to know" is not a reason.

The girl told you something that was someones secret. That's wrong. You're perpetuating it, that's worse.

Makes no difference that she's a virgin.

He's not a moron. None of your business why this person wants to do anything.

Not your circus, not your monkey.

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@chai2,

Someone's secret is anonymous. I don't ever going to see her, him or that other person.
How is that making you feel so freaked out?
And since when having a girlfriend is a secret?
Unless it is a bullshit he doesn't want to be caught at.

Today he told her he want her to promise to be with him as long as life will permit, however he is loving that other girl.

MORON! And you are not helping. If you don't have an advice or info - just keep your paws off the keyboard.

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

Lordy you can be so rude Eliusa, such a temper.

Simple. If that was my daughter, I'd laugh (at him) and tell her, he's in love with someone else, don't be his little bunny, that someone he can call upon every time he's down and missing (the other woman)... followed by "You're better than that"...

Give her the confidence she needs to feel strong about herself obviously she doesn't.

Saying WTF? Isn't going to help her in any way shape and form and your old enough to know how to handle this, don't try to be her age and immature, in your converse.

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The "secret" is that he is not available. He loves another. He has been honest with your friend.

So your friend should move on and find another guy.

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@Eliusa,

Eliusa wrote:

First of all how is it a sworn secret?

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

Your friend needs to decide whether or not she's happy being used, if not she needs to knock it on the head. She could choose a better confidante as well, someone who is not quite so gobby and has actually completed adolescence.

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She is hoping when girl moves he will become available and she can
Get him to love her. She had tried to date but no one can interest her

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@Eliusa,

"she can Get him to love her."

Now - you know that is NOT how it works. You can't force anyone to love any other person.

Why does your friend insist on holding on to this fantasy? She will never have his heart. He will resent her if he feels forced to accept her.

Encourage her to move on and find another man.

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@Eliusa,

How many women "can" get a man to love her when he is in love with someone else?

Quote:

She had tried to date but no one can interest her

How many women go for the un-attainable because they are pissed that what is out there that approaches them is not what they are after.

She's actually not ready for a relationship she is lonely.

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@FOUND SOUL,

I actually didnt get you. Yes she is lonely maybe but she is ready for the relationships and he is just leading her on shamelessly

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@FOUND SOUL,

I actually didnt get you. Yes she is lonely maybe but she is ready for the relationships and he is just leading her on shamelessly

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@Eliusa,

Yes, he IS leading her on . . . but he has WARNED her that his heart belongs to another.

So your friends must decide what to do.

WHY do you think HE has to change? He is very obvious. He's a user and a dreamer. .That is very clear.

SHE is the one who has to wise up.

Why would your friend make this unwise choice and insist on her way ? Why must she have him? He is not an honorable man.

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@Eliusa,

What Punkey said.

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@Eliusa,

Quote:

Yes she is lonely maybe but she is ready for the relationships and he is just leading her on shamelessly

So what is your advice for her?

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

I don't have any except leaving this idea. But she is hurt. She loves him.

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

Well if you don't have any but you've been given some here to give her, best you do that, leave it alone.

Sometimes the best thing to do for someone is just to "listen" and not advise.

She is a fool that will get over it and find someone else one day.

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Young virgin in love with a moron

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