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How do you live with yourself

 
 
Reply Thu 30 Apr, 2015 12:04 pm
I intend to live in one town away from my family my mother (single parent) and career wants me to. My Grandfather is a sentimental old fool and I have always been his favorite has heart disease and is on morphine reliant on my mother for his day to day activities she works part time he tries to rule the roost with things that should be done she gives him medicines he has 50 tablets a day and it is not an easy task he is on morphine he can shower and take medicines he is bent very and his back aches 82 years old. I am in my forties now I want to work and live with my partner I am seeking work just like any other member of society its the right thing to do. Should I just buckle down and get on with it. If it becomes too bad I think I might need counseling. Sometimes they get along other times they are at odds with each other fewth it can be exhausting. Thing is that I am not working and always there to pick up the phone when they want me thats not good is it.
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Thu 30 Apr, 2015 02:27 pm
@Shelly462,
I am assuming what you're saying is your family is reliant on you because you currently don't have a job.

Well, it seems like they're kind of dependent, anyway. Your mother's role as your grandfather's primary caregiver is not an easy one, either emotionally or physically. Have a little sympathy for her - it's hard to watch our loved ones deteriorate.

And maybe lay off calling your grandfather a sentimental old fool. Even if he is one. Because one day, if you're fortunate, you'll get to be his age, and you'll be dependent on people and you might find yourself recollecting the past a lot, and in a way that's oh so boring to the younger generations. But it's your glory days and you remember them fondly. Days when you were young, carefree, and pain-free.

You're an adult. Please either find work for yourself and a damned fine excuse for not helping out, or leave and be done with it and cut your family out of your life, or suck it up and help out. Seek counseling if you feel it'll help but do try to do some growing up. Because from here, you're sounding an awful lot like a whiny teenager.
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blueveinedthrobber
 
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Reply Thu 30 Apr, 2015 02:42 pm
I live with myself by drinking enough to forget what kind of person I am
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Ionus
 
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Reply Sat 2 May, 2015 09:35 am
I never get into an argument with myself because I never bloody stop . Apart from that, I find it helps if you take off all your clothes and stand on the roof .
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LiveLoughLaugh24
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 May, 2015 11:15 am
@Shelly462,
I think you should do what's best for you while considering the needs of your loved ones. Moving away on your own sounds okay to me. You can still keep in touch, answer their calls and visit or help out when you can. Believe me, I know that confusing and guilty feeling.

Best of luck
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PUNKEY
 
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Reply Sat 2 May, 2015 04:06 pm
At your ages, yes, you should be on your own.

If living with your mother and grandfather is too stressful for you, then by all means, get your own place and your own life.

But try to be a little compassionate for the situation. It's hard taking care of an elderly parent. Your mother has put her life on "hold" while she does this.

Help out as you can. Either send money or be with your grandfather for a few hours a week so your mother can have some respite time.

What does your partner say about all this?
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